The Belgian Cycling Federation filed a protest against Team Sky’s use of Bradly Wiggins for “patriotic means,” calling foul on Team Sky’s “attempt to whip the English cycling public into xenophobic fervour.” In their written protest, the BCF have gone so far as to ask the UCI to return Wiggins to his rightful place in cycling, Belgium.
In documents obtained by cyclismas.com, it appears the Belgian Federation filed their protest after repeated attempts by GB Cycling to woo Tom Boonen and Philippe Gilbert into the fold in an attempt to repeat their success with Bradley Wiggins.
“It is a well known fact that Bradley Wiggins was born in Ghent. Are we disappointed in the fact we missed the boat on his road cycling ability? Yes. Should that one fact prevent us from having Brad line up for our side at the Olympics and beyond? No. If it wasn’t for his birth in Belgium, Wiggins would not have amounted to the superstar he is today,” stated the press release from the Belgian Federation.
Wiggins refused to comment on the situation, as he was busy deciding on the next Paul Weller look he was going to adopt for the Tour de France, but his coach, Shane Sutton, was happy to speak for Wiggins by cutting out the middleman for the press.
“Look, we’ve engineered Brad to be the perfect English lad. He’s got the strange musical tastes, the moodiness, the bizarre haircuts, the bad fashion sense, and above all, the tacky Twitter commentary. Just because the poor sod happened to be born in Ghent doesn’t mean those Belgian bastards can get their grubby hands on him. Our doctors have taken painful steps for him to be the perfect expression of Engerlishness,” commented Sutton.
Team Sky boss David Brailsford also weighed in with his opinion.
“Fuck the Belgian pricks. He’s mine. Look, I gave in to Wiggs and hired that Aussie git just to make ‘is mum happy. And I allow the bugger time with ‘is family to keep ‘is lovely wife happy. Belgians? Go back to frites and mayo, you f**kers,” intoned Brailsford.
Every single member of the British cycling press refused to offer any comments at all to the reports out of Belgium, and in fact refused to acknowledge they existed at all. However, Irish pundit Sean Kelly was willing to give his two cents.
“Who cares? We know he isn’t going to win the Tour or any Olympic medals. Doesn’t matter what nation he is from,” declared the Irish champion.
UCI spokesperson Enrico Carpani refused to speculate on the matter, simply stating that the paperwork had been received, but shunning further talk on the motion by the Belgian Cycling Federation.
However, UCI president Pat McQuaid was only too happy to offer his commentary.
“Not sure why anyone would want the lanky lad. Everyone knows if he wins the Tour, he’s going to retire and tell everyone to sod off. I’ll wait to see the final paperwork ‘deposits’ next week before our organisation will determine which country he should ride for. Thank goodness he has no Irish roots is all I have to say,” concluded McQuaid.
Cyclismas.com will monitor the situation closely for the UCI’s final decision.