Armstrong’s 2009 comeback blood

Last night’s Oprah Winfrey couch confessional for Lance Armstrong raised some questions; of particularly concern was his assertion that he stopped doping after his final Tour de France win in 2005. Lance claims his 2009 comeback and third-place podium finish was clean.

Oprah Winfrey: When you placed third in 2009, you did not dope?

Lance Armstrong: “The last time I crossed that line was 2005.”

OW: Does that include blood transfusions? No doping or blood transfusions in 2009… 2010?

LA: “Absolutely not.”

Let’s just think about that, shall we?

Doc has done some homework for us.

Armstrong’s 2009 comeback blood

don’t tell no clean comeback story

first

take uh look at his giro blood

starts at hgb 14.8

drops to hgb 13

uh 12 percent volume expansion

consistent with what’s expected

uv GT guys

the Tour ?

volume expansion

?

fugg no

starts hgb 14.3

after initial volume expansion

hgb 13.7

then it climbs

n finishes

hgb 14.5

or up 2 gm/dL

from expected

at uh conservative 0.25 w/kg

per

gm/dL

good for a bump

uv

0.5 watts/kg

ie there’s no fuggin way

lance finishes top 10

let uh lone

beets 90 days uv SuperBrad

more importantly

lookit the retic

in the fuggin gutter

consistently suppressed for the entire TDF

consistently acting

like there is too much blood in this body

n

we sure the fugg know

it’s not just his natural response

cuz it’s not what happened in the giro

lance

yer

blood

says 2 things

1. yuh sure is fugg weren’t clean

n

2. yuh just weren’t that good neither

(the 2010 blood telss the same blood doped story)

 * * * * *

veloclinic is the reincarnation of one of our favorite Twitter friends, @captaintbag1, whose tumblr blog posts were a kind of blank verse, Tecate-soaked haiku of truthiness that cut through the slick bullshit and to the very core of what is gloriously fucked up about the sport of cycling. Although the Cap may be gone (sort of), his Doctor tbag/Captain Hyde alter ego lives on, and we’re glad to share his pithy analysis here. Lest you think these are the idiot ramblings of a madman, we’d like you to know that the doc is a legitimate professional in the science of sports medicine, and a savant when it comes to doping analysis. You have been warned.