Cyclismas
  • Home
  • Features
    • Reviews
    • Interviews
    • Delusions of Grimpeur
    • Two Cone Wrenches and a Megaphone
    • News or Not…?
    • Photography
    • Cartoons and Illustrations
  • Opinion
    • Commentary
    • Veloclinic
    • View from the Peloton
    • Viewpoint
  • Podcasts
    • Open Mic
    • Race Radio
  • Videos
  • Contact Us
Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Youtube
Commentary 0

Remembering Roubaix: Ten things that made the North so Hellish

By Saddleblaze @@saddleblaze · On April 8, 2013

After such a brutal and eventful race there’s no way you can pick out just the one talking point. So, in his weekly column for Cyclismas, Saddleblaze has gone for a healthy ten – just to keep the magic going all the way until the Ardennes.

As we all know, Fabian Cancellara started the 111th edition of Paris-Roubaix as overwhelming favourite. That he won the race did not make it a predictable affair – for Spartacus had to do something he’d never done before in his career: win a sprint on the famous Roubaix velodrome.

Offredo follows the signs to the exit: FDJ’s main hope, Yoann Offredo’s race was over before the first five-star cobbled section when the Frenchman collided with a road sign on a traffic island. Riding at the back of the bunch which was just beginning to part, Offredo was looking behind him in a bid to locate his team car when, turning back around, he came face to face with the blue sign with next to no time to avoid a collision. He veered to the right, but clipped the offending object with his left knee before being sent hurtling over his handlebars to land chin-first on the tarmac. Game over for Off-road-o.

Moments later, a similar incident happened when Blanco’s Rick Flens mounted a pavement only to collide with a traffic cone. The cobbles may be the race’s weapon of choice but sometimes the damage is done elsewhere.

Size matters: Most of the guys who played an active role in proceedings out there were big units with a lot of staying power. So spare a thought for the pint-sized Clement Kortesky of Pro Conti outfit Bretagne Seche: not only does the guy not have a Wikipedia page, he also looked like one of the Paris-Roubaix Juniors who had started the wrong race.

Part of an initial break, Kortesky was well and truly dwarfed by fellow escapee Gert Steegmans who, rather ominously, was not even Omega Pharma’s largest rider. That accolade went to man mountain Stijn Vandenbergh, who looked like a complete monster until he was spread-eagled by a spectator on the Carrefour de l’Arbre (more on that later).

Flower bed becomes vegetable patch: Making teams like Euskaltel and Movistar ride Paris-Roubaix is a bit like asking Europcar to do a team time trial. You get the impression that their contractual obligations only require the riders to make it as far as, say, the Arenberg forest before allowing them to hobble off the cobbles and into the safety of the team car.

Spare a thought for one of the Basque boys in orange who was involved in a pile-up as the race passed through a town 60km from the finish. It looked like the Euskaltel rider landed heavily on the low stone wall of a flower bed beside the road – instantly making it a vegetable patch for discarded carrots.

Thomas going for a clean-sweep: You can safely bet that Team Sky won’t be returning to Tenerife for their classics preparations next year after their performance in Roubaix yet again underlined the importance of having a decent Internet connection ahead of key races.

After suffering falls on the Cipressa (Milan-San Remo) and the Kwaremont (Flanders), Geraint Thomas kept up his unfortunate knack of stacking at key moments in each monument this season by coming a-cropper on the Trouee d’Arenberg following a ditch tangle with Yauheni Hutarovich of Belarus. What odds of a Thomas spill on the Cauberg in next Sunday’s Amstel Gold?

Meanwhile, poor Edvald Boasson Hagen – the only marginal gains he’s experienced this season seem to be around his waistline.

(Image by Steephill.tv courtesy Reuters)

Keep your eye’s peeled for Stybar on YouTube: As long as the incriminating iPhone wasn’t run over by a race motorbike then someone has a great close-up video of Zdenek Stybar’s crash in the Carrefour de l’Arbre. More precisely, the plonker who leant out and knocked the Czech cyclo-cross star in the face with his phone, forcing him to veer across the road and take drastic evasive action.

Talk about gutter journalism – especially given what happened just seconds earlier to Stybar’s towering team-mate Vandenbergh. In fact, you’d think someone has a great snap of Vandenbergh grimacing as his rump hits the cobbles while his arms and legs are splayed like the world’s biggest spider. If you watch the Carrefour cobbled section again you’ll see Sep Vanmarcke also coming close to being floored by a lady spectator. You have to remember that the riders chose the gutter line in the first place. If you sleep close to a fire, you’ll probably get singed.

Turgot's Roubaix wheel-changeBernaudeau’s a manager not a mechanic: It was an agonising sight watching last year’s runner-up Sebastien Turgot wait for an eternity while first his own team manager, Jean-Rene Bernaudeau, grappled unsuccessfully with his back wheel and then the rider himself was forced to take over after the Frenchman punctured 41km from the finish. The hold-up meant the alluringly ungainly Damien Gaudin became Europcar’s principal hope – and the young Frenchman didn’t disappoint.

Built with swimmers’ shoulders, Gaudin is a complete oddity on wheels. Hunched over his cyclo-cross handlebars and with a head swaying like a metronome, Gaudin was “pedalling like a bag of spanners” according to Eurosport’s David Harmon. Compare his jagged style to another big guy like Vandenbergh and it defies everything you read in the training manuals. You could balance a glass of water on Vandenbergh’s flat back even over the most treacherous of cobbled sections – with Gaudin, you wouldn’t have enough glasses even if you were hosting the UCI’s annual Christmas party. Gaudin is a cycling monstrosity – but a curiously captivating one.

Omega Pharma deserve a pat on the back – just not by fans during crucial moments during the race: With Tom Boonen KO’ed by his Ronde crash, the Belgian team had to change their tactics. Steegmans rode excellently in two leading groups before handing the reins over to Vandenbergh, Stybar, Nicki Terpstra, and Sylvain Chavanel.

While Cancellara was completely devoid of RadioShack team-mates as the race entered the business end, Omega still had an abundance of talent – and Stybar, riding his first ever Roubaix, would have been a shoo-in had he not lapsed on the Carrefour and rode too close to the fans. It was scant consolation that Terpstra took third place to secure Omega’s first podium place in a monument this season.

Fabs talket to teamcar Roubaix

Fabs talket to team car (image courtesy Cosmo Catalano’s HTRWW)

Cancellara’s poker skills are exemplary: Before the race, Taylor Phinney said, “Cycling is a very unpredictable sport although Fabian tries to make it relatively predictable by riding off the front.” But on Sunday Spartacus proved he was no one-trick pony by winning a very different way – and doing so after many had written him off.

Having been left isolated and seemingly on the ropes, Spartacus dropped back to his team car with 35km remaining, prompting Eurosport’s Harmon to say his race was over. And yet he fought back, using all his experience, strength, and determination to do so. When alone with Vanmarcke he did try to ride off with 4km remaining, but was reeled in. So he had to do it the hard way and beat the Belgian in a track-style sprint.

The stats don’t lie, and Spartacus’ last nine finishes in San Remo/Flanders/Roubaix are as follows: 1st, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 2nd, 2nd, 3rd, 1st, 1st.

Sep Vanmarcke sheds a muddy tear after finishing second behind Fabian Cancellara. (Cor Vos image courtesy CyclingTips)

Van marked by the occasion: A great picture shows the 24-year-old Belgian with his head in his hands and a dusty tear rolling down one cheek. He may never get such an occasion to win Roubaix – and had anyone told him before the race he’d finish second to Cancellara he’d probably have accepted that. But he admitted that he would lose sleep for many nights replaying over in his head that final sprint.

Even before the race reached the velodrome, Cancellara’s experience was coming into play. On numerous occasions the Swiss flicked his elbow. Vanmarcke resisted but then eventually came through to take the pace-setting at a time when there was no chance they would be caught by the pursuers. It’s almost like watching a scene in James Bond where the baddies insist on giving Bond a lifeline by taking the time to explain their devilish deeds before pulling the trigger.

It takes a rider of Simon Gerrans-style canniness to resist Cancellara’s clout and race dirty. In the sprint, Vanmarcke showed one moment of indecision and suddenly conceded his stronger place high up on the banking and in the wheels of his rival, who admitted after the race that he “went over my limits like never before to cross the line first today.”

Fabs Roubaix podiumPinch yourself as decency returns to the podium: There was little chance that this monument’s runner-up would have followed in the footsteps of Peter Sagan and tried to steal the limelight from Cancellara by harassing a podium girl. After riding over so many cobbles, the physical act of pinching even the most pert of bottoms would probably be nigh-on impossible.

Still, the Roubaix officials made sure by having their ceremonial hostess clad in jeans and a jacket – although they couldn’t resist in giving her a Barbie-style tiara. As Cancellara gingerly raised the heavy-looking cobbled trophy aloft on the podium, it looked as if the podium girl didn’t have to worry so much about having her derriere pinched as having her skull crushed by a falling stone.

 

Damien GaudinFabian CancellaraHell of the NorthParis-RoubaixSep VanmarckeStijn VandenberghZdenek Stybar
Share Tweet

Saddleblaze

Ever since he was bullied by his brothers into watching the Tour de France as an eight-year-old, Saddles has been a cycling fanatic. As persistent as Voigt, as fast as Abdoujaparov, as voracious as Ullrich and as accurate as a Festina watch, Saddleblaze offers a lighter take on the oft-grave world of professional cycling. The self-styled best cycling-blog pedlar in the business, Saddles refutes sullied claims of doping levelled by his rivals: these nuggets are powered on Gerolsteiner fizzy water alone. Just ask his good friend Bernhard Kohl for a reference. You can follow him on Twitter @saddleblaze

You Might Also Like

  • Lance bar9 Commentary

    The secret video of Lance’s Bad Day

  • 8273837-the-picture-shows-a-record-player Commentary

    Making the anti-doping needle jump the record

  • photo by Bikezilla/Tom Commentary

    Jimmy

No Comments

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Subscribe & Follow

Follow @cyclismas
Follow on Instagram
Follow on rss
Ad
Ad
  • Popular
  • Comments
  • Tags
  • Groundhog Day for Cycling?

    October 17, 2012
  • Wiggins lets the insults fly!

    July 7, 2012
  • The Legend of the 500

    July 11, 2012
  • Paul Kimmage Defense Fund

    September 20, 2012
  • What is my trouble with a Team Sky Tour de France victory?

    July 19, 2012
  • firstclasswristband says: Personalize your silicone wristband to suit a special occasion. You can choose...
  • anihpzkneaye123 says: This post is worthy of appreciation, looking forward to more exciting!    <...
  • Rhodesy94 says: What a massive anticlimax. Here I am at 2:16am, trawling through the internet ...
  • dalee18 says: This video has been removed from YouTube - any chance we can get it reposted??...
  • SEO Services in Chennai says: Unable to play the video,  i am getting a message "The plug in is vulnerable"...
UCI Pat McQuaid Lance Armstrong Tour de France Team Sky Doping Johan Bruyneel Brad Wiggins Jonathan Vaughters Hein Verbruggen cyclocross Jonny Gunn Sven Nys #SVENNESS Cyclismas Cycling News Network Ripp Finklemann In the Crosshairs Mark Cavendish

Find us on Facebook

Latest Videos

  • Road Reel Ep. 4 thumb

    Cyclismas Road Reel – Episode 4

    August 1, 2013
  • Michelle road reel thumbnail

    Cyclismas Road Reel – Tour de France Exclusive with Michelle Cound

    July 15, 2013
  • Star Tours preview image

    Star Tours preview

    July 1, 2013
  • Screen Shot 2013-07-04 at 7.15.35 PM

    Cyclismas Road Reel – Episode 3

    June 29, 2013
  • roadreelbanner

    Cyclismas Road Reel – Episode 2

    June 3, 2013
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Follow us on Youtube

About Cyclismas

A fresh take on cycling satire and commentary, Cyclismas is an alternative to traditional cycling news coverage; we challenge conventional cycling wisdom with a wide variety of voices, using a variety of media – all with integrity, but not without humor.

Recent Comments

  • Electric Bikes at the Giro???? | A Scotsman in Suburbia on Fake cyclists
  • Cuantificación del entrenamiento mediante CERVEZAS - Análisis de productos. ZitaSport on A different approach to comparing climbing performances
  • Omloop der Geruchten » Extrasport // Eigenzinnig sportnieuws on So just who is Dr. Jose Ibarguren Taus?

Latest News

  • open mike fillmore banner copy

    OpenMic with Mike Creed – Frank Pipp

    February 10, 2015
  • open mike fillmore banner copy

    Open Mic with Mike Creed – Chris Carmichael

    October 22, 2014
  • open mike fillmore banner copy

    Open Mic with Mike Creed – Not Kiel Reijnen and Alex Howes

    October 15, 2014

Search

© 2013 Cyclismas Cyclismas LLC