Former professional cyclist Tyler Hamilton announced the opening of his new restaurant, The Affordable Burger Shoppe, just steps away from Faneuil Hall in Boston, Massachusetts.
Inspired by the OccupyWallStreet movement, Hamilton decided to focus on a menu that features organic and natural products for under $10, catering to those who want a quality dining experience but can’t afford one based on current economic conditions in the United States.
One of the many images lining the walls of Hamilton's new restaurant venture
“Look, not everyone can have an estate the size of Texas that blows through 1.3 million gallons of water annually,” stated Hamilton, taking a swipe at confirmed 1% member Lance Armstrong, who was recently cited for excessive water use in his home state. “Everyone deserves to enjoy a great dining experience for around 20 bucks,” emphasized the Texan’s former teammate.
The menu will feature sandwich offerings dubbed with pet names of some of Hamilton’s favorite former and current cycling professionals, including “The Badger Burger,” “The Cannibal Stack,” “DZ’s Ball of Veggies,” and “Purito’s Patty” among others.
To promote the venture, Hamilton has started a social media campaign, with the first target being his former teammate and friend, Lance Armstrong. Yesterday he tweeted to Armstrong that he could recommend a few Boston eateries during Armstrong’s trip to the city known as “The Hub.”
Armstrong’s representatives responded by stating that their client wasn’t in a position to visit, nor provide any endorsement for the diminutive cyclist’s restaurant due to pending charges of witness tampering stemming from the notorious run-in between Armstrong and Hamilton at the exclusive dining spot Cache Cache in Aspen, Colorado four months ago.
Hamilton confirmed that the encounter was his inspiration for launching a restaurant venture.
“After that episode, I turned my back on the overhyped idea of ‘fine dining’ and what a ridiculous concept that is. I mean, what’s the difference between a burger patty and a filet mignon? Shape, size and perception,” commented Hamilton.
The restaurant will have a decided cycling feel to it, with vintage bicycles, authentic team jerseys, and various items of memorabilia donated by Hamilton’s friends and from his own personal collection. The dining areas will include flat-screen TVs broadcasting live and recorded cycling events from around the world.
The main feature of the establishment, however, will be the state-of-the-art restrooms, whose focal point is the bright yellow silicone flooring fabricated from discarded, returned, and disused Livestrong bracelets.
When asked why Hamilton would utilize a product associated with his former friend and current nemesis, the soft-spoken cyclist was candid:
“It’s part of our reduce/reuse/recycle program at the restaurant. There’s a surplus of these things getting dumped back into already overflowing landfills, and they have a half life of something like 710 years. I wanted to do my part to help the environment. It’s my way of making a small difference, recycling a useless yellow band to protect people from slipping while they are relieving themselves.”
Hamilton hopes to have a very successful first week at the restaurant, and plans to donate a percentage of profits to the Boston school system’s anti-bullying campaign. When asked about the significance of this charity, the former Olympic champion replied, “Actions speak louder than words. I remember something JV tweeted to me a long time ago, ‘Hang in there…bullies have a special place in my little black heart.'”
The Affordable Burger Shoppe will be open 7 days a week for lunch and dinner.
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