Yes, even I need to evolve. Sure, it was fun waxing the philosophical every week for something like eight months, but you little people grew tired of the trip that happened inside of Aigle. Instead, our intrepid editor-in-chief thought that I should decree my favourite five and my worst five of the week every single fooking Monday.
Best or the Worst of the Week? *chuckle*
Best Five Things This Past Week:
Numero Cinco
Michael Rasmussen finds Alex Rasmussen outcome unfair
“It might sting a little in my heart when I hear that Alex has been acquitted because of a procedural error.” Michael, when are you going to realize that we just don’t like you? Even the Danes couldn’t like you after your appearance on the Danish version of that Dancing with the Stars. Even when I met you that first time way back in 2005, I thought you had been held hostage for three years by some rogue guerrilla group in the mountains of Colombia. Fast forward to today, and you look absolutely the same. Just a question, can your arm actually handle the weight of a Christina Watch?
Numero Cuatro
Popovych training a month earlier than usual to peak for Paris-Roubaix
Popovych is best known these past couple of years for being surrounded by several hundred members of the U.S. law enforcement community when he came over to hang out with his buddy, Lancey boy. However, the best thing about Popovych and this article is the fact that it’s more than likely an opportunity for our friends at Velonation to call me out on the fact that I still haven’t given a WorldTour licence to the Shack boys (read the last paragraph) Well done!
Numero Tres
@dwuori slings a zinger at Andy Schleck
The fact that Andy was given a speeding ticket was funny enough, but Mr. Wuori’s twitter zinger about aero bars to slow him down had me laughing for half the week.
Numero Dos
Greg Henderson’s strength conditioning in the offseason
This event happened after a certain @mmmaiko on twitter managed to connive Fillipo Pozzato to post a photo from his twitter account to prove it was actually him. Henderson, never to be outdone (and with a wicked sense of humour), took the time to photoshop the gem in the above link to “verify” his own twitter account. Greg, you have a guaranteed career in media; upon your retirement the pentaverate at Cyclismas have a special position they are keeping open for you.
Numero Uno
That says it all. So far, he hasn’t disappointed, posting a priceless picture of Shane Sutton, who was asleep on the sofa. Sir Hoy is going to have a productive career on twitter ahead of him.
The Worst of the Week
Number Five
“Doping In cycling greatly reduced” says CONI boss
The Burt Young of the cycling world decided to speak again, at the wrong time, saying the wrong thing. Doping is reducing in the sport, according to Torri. Maybe he should just shuttup rather than calling attention to the fact that we finally got smart and followed the lead of other major sporting organizations to use collusion, bribery, smokescreens, and public relations initiatives to lull the public to sleep. But no, he HAD to say something. Which leads us to numbers four and three…
Number Four
Pereiro blasts different perceptions of cycling and football doping
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. Do I need to take your 2006 title away from you? Floyd is, I’m sure, having an absolute fit about your comments to the press as kettle meets pot. You agreed to shut your yapper in exchange for that TdF title. Maybe we’ll have to make life a little uncomfortable for you. I’d watch out for any black Rovers that might pull up in your driveway. Still playing football? Watch out for stray balls flying your way.
Number Three
Your name is Michael Diamond. No, not the Michael Diamond that raps for the Beastie Boys. This Diamond, who is fooking 63, and opts to get popped for not submitting to a doping test. Look, maybe he just had hooked up with a couple of 31 year olds the night before, and really didn’t want to be embarrassed by the high content of those little blue pills in his system. And this was one that you can’t blame on Joe Papp…
Number Two
Movistar cancels Valverde’s appearance after UCI intervenes
Those fooking Spaniards just keep getting into my ointment. Did they really think I’d allow a rider who is still bloody well suspended to appear at a function launching his team? I don’t fooking think so. The worst part is how indignant they were about it. If the RFEC had played ball better with us on several fronts, I wouldn’t have been forced to pull that card. Shame on them for trying.
Number One
Christian Vande Velde’s trousers at Garmin team launch
What the hell was this lad thinking? Sure, argyle, but unleashing that fashion atrocity at the team launch is as bad as Jonathan Vaughters’ ensemble worn at TedX in the Bahamas earlier this year. This fashion offence should be enough to have Vaughters removed from the cyclingnews poll. It would be appreciated for reasons that may or may not benefit me. None at all. Don’t believe how awful they were? Worse than some of Stephen Roche’s fashion choices over the years. Yes, that bad. Anquetil is turning over in his grave.
My eyeballs are bleeding (photo courtesy Team Garmin-Cervélo)
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