Kim Dotcom, CEO of Megaupload.com chimed in on the Lance Armstrong debacle, saying he was “pissed off” at the contents of the press release issued Friday by U.S. District Attorney Birotte that closed the door on any potential charges against the yellow-jersey winner for fraud, extortion, bribery of a foreign official, and alleged “general douchebaggery.”
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Dotcom, recently denied bail in New Zealand after being charged for crimes against the recording industry and bad fashion sense, went ballistic in his cell upon hearing the news of Armstrong’s case being closed, considering that he has two of the same charges pending against him.
“Maybe I should have started Dotcomstrong and donated the same small pittance to fight cancer that the jerkwad (Lance Armstrong) did. Or maybe I should have greased the wheels of some high-powered U.S. corporate douchebags like he did. The difference is, I’m my own man, and I’m not anyone’s f***ing lap dog,” declared Dotcom.
When asked why the government would choose to raid his house, break down his doors, and threaten his wife and children while letting Armstrong go free, Dotcom was candid.
“Look, the guy’s washed up. He’s not earning anything, and Nike is getting tired of his schtick. I think they felt sorry for him. Didn’t he just drop off the list of most influential athletes or something? My frozen bank account for petty cash has more in it than Livestrong made all of last year, and Lance made in the last two years. With their bankrupt country, they need all the assets they can get,” continued Dotcom.
Kanye West, known Dotcom fraternizer offered his opinion when reached for comment.
“Lance ruined my use of ‘hater.’ Can’t never say that shit again. And all his pretenders run around the country chasing cancer sayin’ my word while my homie Dotcom sits in jail? Man that makes me go apeshit. Lance is a pretender, playa. I’d be proud of my doping record. I doped with the best and beat the rest is what I’d say. Word.”
Armstrong attorney Mark Fabiani was concise on both subjects, “I am proud that my connections coupled with heavy corporate political interference has rendered the U.S. justice system flaccid. I look forward to doing the same for KIM Dotcom, who has just retained my services.”
Dotcom’s U.S. extradition hearing is set for February 23rd.
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