The UCI has announced that they will not carry out any equipment or position checks at this year’s edition of the Amgen Tour of California.
The rules, which will not be enforced, are encapsulated in the UCI Equipment and Position Controls document supplied by the UCI. The rules are meant to be enforced in addition to recently outlined stipulations by Stephen Roche making cyclists ride with their jerseys fully zipped and without gold necklaces.
This has led to a widespread fear that the cyclists and teams, knowing that there will be no testing, will flout the rules in an attempt to gain an advantage over their competitors.
Rules include a check to make sure that the saddle is level and positioned sufficiently far behind the bottom bracket, and a ban on using aerodynamically-integrated drinking bottles, protective screens, “fuselages,” and modification of equipment. In addition to regulations on sock height and sleeve length, there is also a ban on cycle shoes that “are given an aerodynamic shape by means of a non-essential addition, whether to the heel or front of the shoe.”
One rider, who wished to remain anonymous, described his position on the situation: “I don’t want to ride with a saddle that isn’t level if I can possibly help it, but now that there are no controls, I don’t have a choice, do I? I am forced to ride with a saddle pointing so far upwards that I can no longer have children. Our hands are forced on the issue, we have no realistic choice except to ride in calf-length compression socks and sleeveless jerseys, permanently unzipped and flapping in the wind like Ironman age-groupers. The time-trial specialist on my team will be putting his saddle so far forward that his knees hit the handlebars with every pedal stroke. It’s simply not fair. The rules are there to be enforced; they are there for our safety.”
The UCI rules are to help prevent this mishap from plaguing the peloton
There is an unconfirmed rumour amongst the peloton that Dave Zabriskie of Garmin-Barracuda will be riding the individual time trial with a host of fuselages, protective screens, and at least eight integrated drinking bottles, despite the fact that the UCI expressly forbids it. Zabriskie could not be contacted for comment.
Another rider has expressed an interest in “using a camelback, but not solely for hydration purposes.” Apparently his intention is to use the drinking vessel as a set of bagpipes in order to distract his fellow competitors. As this will require modification of equipment, it is also banned.
UCI rules be damned!
The news of the non-enforcement of the rules hasn’t been greeted with universal disapproval however. An entire team registered in Italy has expressed gratitude for the relaxation of the rules, as they are sponsored by a gold medallion and chest wig supplier. “This marks an incredible breakthrough for us, we can finally unzip our jerseys and show off our beautiful body hair and fine 20 karat necklaces without fear of Roche coming along and tearing them out,” said the unnamed but extremely stylish director. “We shall also be wearing shoes which ‘exceed the height of the ankle’ and have ‘an aerodynamic shape by means of a non-essential addition, whether to the heel or front of the shoe’; since we are in America we decided to have custom cowboy-boot style cycle shoes made from real buffalo leather, with aerodynamic spurs.”
When queried on the lack of testing, a UCI Spokesperson said, “The tests comprise part of the UCI and Stephen Roche’s programme for “the preservation of the image and culture of the bicycle.” Cycling must remain untainted, pure, and perceived as a good, righteous, and traditional pasttime to the general public.”
The UCI told Cyclismas that while no bike or sock length tests would be carried out during the race, their global plan for the enforcement of traditional racing style would not be affected. The governing body of cycling has implied that due to its new format of ‘intelligent’ and targeted testing in cycling, relying on searching Twitter comments whilst the race was in progress was sufficient. Others believe that it is a smokescreen and in reality there is simply a lack of funds.
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