And after Festina, when the people saw that WADA, Moses Tygart, and the labs delayed to come down out of the (hors categorie) mount Sinai, the people gathered themselves together unto Bill Stapleton, and said unto him, Up, make us a god, which shall go before us; for as for WADA, and the gendarmerie that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, the land of slavery to that nectar that fills our veins, we know not what is become of him.
And Bill Stapleton said unto them, break off the golden earrings, which are in the ears of your wives, of your sons, and of your daughters, and bring them unto me.
And all the people, Tom Weisel and USPS broke off the golden earrings which were in their ears, and brought them unto Bill.
And he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool and high cadence interval sessions, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt and Festina.
And when Bill saw it, he built an altar before it; and Bill made proclamation, and said, tomorrow is a feast to the NEW LORD LIVESTRONG.
And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, wristbands and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and the fans rose up to play by the side of the roadside mountain and bought Trek bicycles.
And for 7 years did the golden calf provide hope and joy unto the people. Sherwen hailed and Ligget led service. And Carmichael sold many DVDs, and graven images were made by Graham Watson.
And then one day the TRUE LORD said unto Moses Tygart, Go, get thee down from the (hors categorie) Sinai; for thy people, which thou broughtest out of the land of Egypt and Festina, have corrupted themselves:
They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them: they have made them a molten, yellow-jerseyed calf, and have worshipped it, and have sacrificed thereunto, and said, These be thy gods, O Israel, which have brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
And the LORD said unto Moses, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiffnecked people:
Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation of clean cycling.
And Moses Tygart besought the LORD his God, and said, LORD, why doth thy wrath wax hot against thy people, which thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power, and with a mighty hand? Cannot we plea bargain?
Wherefore should the Egyptians and Festinians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the (hors categorie) mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.
Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, err and Betsy and Frankie, Kimmage and Walsh, thy servants, to whom thou swarest by thine own self, and saidst unto them, I will multiply your seed as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have spoken of will I give unto your seed, and they shall inherit it for ever.
And Moses Tygart turned, and went down from the (hors cateogorie) mount, and the two tables of the WADA rulebook were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written. And yey, let it also be said that it is also available in PD effe format.
And it came to pass, as soon as Moses Tygart came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses’ anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.
And Moses took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it. And some journalists and Trek and Chris Carmichael were very sad.
And Moses said unto Bill, What did this people unto thee, that thou hast brought so great a sin upon them?
And Bill said, Let not the anger of my lord wax hot: thou knowest the people, that they are set on mischief.
For they said unto me, Make us gods, which shall go before us: for as for this Moses, this testing, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we know not what is become of him.
And I said unto them, Whosoever hath any gold, let them break it off. So they gave it me: then I cast it into the fire, and there came out this calf.
And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my results book.
Therefore now go, lead the people unto the place of which I have spoken unto thee: Israel – behold, mine biopassport Angel shall go before thee: nevertheless in the day when I visit I will visit their sin upon them.
Amen
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