Leinders in happier times for Team Sky (photo courtesy cyclingnews.com)

“We are disappointed that other press associations haven’t followed suit with our refusal to give ink to this obvious attempt at smearing the good and clean name of Team Sky. This is just another attempt by the shadowy group known as “Sir Bradley Wiggo Haters” to try to expose some sort of secret conspiracy of no importance to the overall agenda for British Cycling,” stated the group in a press release.

In fact, The V,VBaPCPA was absolutely incensed the information was made public on the same day the prince of Team Sky, Chris Froome, won his first stage race in the famous black-with-a-little-Rapha-blue-for-good-measure cycling kit.

“It’s typical. Just typical. These rogue peoples going around trying to ruin our grand scheme of public relations PUFF pieces putting forward the notion that British Cycling and Team Sky are the absolute best in the world, and you should buy everything we tell you to, because well, that will just make us all that much more awesome,” concluded the press release.

However, not everything was rosy in The V,VBaPCPA camp, as Telegraph-sometimes-independent-thinker Brendan Gallagher sniffed out potential page hits and went ahead and broke the blockade Saturday afternoon.

“I’m all about raising my profile in any way I can. Lance, Wiggins, or Leinders. I’m sure the V,VBaPCPA will forgive me this one slip-up,” commented Gallagher.

V, VBaPCPA president Will Fotheringham and vice presidents David Walsh and

were not available directly for any comments, as they were attending a Team Sky Tour of Oman celebratory dinner. Team Sky flew in Robbie Williams, Leona Lewis, and the entire boy band One Direction for the celebration. Bradley Wiggins played guitar for Robbie Williams during an “unplugged” version of “No Regrets.” Richie Porte spent the bulk of the event flirting with Kylie Minogue, who was flown in special for the event by Sky brass. Chris Froome chose to skip the celebration in lieu of a cozy evening with girlfriend Michelle, but appeared via Skype before going to bed.

The gala was rumoured to cost Team Sky north of £10 million.

Non-British pundits were quick to jump on the Leinders situation.

“It’s typical of Team Sky to create some sort of über-event for a small stage race after the announcement of the Leinders investigation. If Team Sky thinks the police will only investigate his Rabobank records and stop there, I think they’re missing the boat huge. If I were them, I’d be doing some forensic cleansing right about now,” stated one pundit who resembled Charles Pelkey.

When asked about the Leinders investigation, beknighted Team Sky mastermind Sir Dave Brailsford was direct.

“Wasn’t that a fabulous celebration last night? I wish I could find a way to have Sir Bradley and Chris tie for Tour de France victory. Wouldn’t it be brilliant to have two simultaneous victors on top of the final step in Paris with the fireworks? Brad could play guitar, and Chris could sing Wonderwall!” exclaimed an excited Brailsford.

Team Sky spokespeople confirmed, “Leinders has nothing to do with us, and please buy our Team Sky Rapha Jeans. They’re a steal at £350.”

Dutch investigators have stated that the Leinders inquiry begins with Rabobank rider confessions, but “doesn’t end there,” which may make the attempts by The V,VBaPCPA to bury the facts of the case much more problematic.

Follow along with the crew on Twitter: @RippFinklemann, @theJonnyGunn, @CyclismasMercer, @saddleblaze. Follow show updates on Twitter @CCNN_TV.

Or take the show on the road with our iTunes downloads.

Wiggins has certainly enjoyed his red carpet ride around France, courtesy of Froome and the rest of Sky’s serfs (photo courtesy of ITV)

“I’ve always been someone who wishes to move on to new challenges. Now that I’ve conquered my first Tour de France it’s time to attempt a feat that has only been accomplished three times in the history of the Tour. I want to wear yellow from the prologue all the way to the Champs-Elysées next year,” declared Wiggins.

As an avid student of cycling history, Wiggins stumbled upon the legend of Ottavio Bottecchia – the first person to wear the yellow jersey from start to finish as winner of the 1924 Tour – via a conversation with famed Scottish cycling journalist, Richard Moore. Moore was turned on to the story of Bottecchia by Herbie Sykes over an espresso in 2006 during a very animated Giro d’Italia.

“I know that I’ve promised Chris (Froome) that he could have a shot at the Tour in 2013 and that I’d support him, but I think my goals are more important than his. After all, I’m higher on the seniority scale in GB Cycling and I don’t feel I’ve reached my peak yet,” continued Wiggins. “I think I have a chance at equalling a feat only done three times in Tour history, and one that hasn’t been accomplished since 1935.”

Team Sky boss David Brailsford confirmed his support for Wiggins in his plan for 2013.

“Considering that Brad and Fabian were the only two to wear the yellow jersey in the entire 2012 Tour, and the fact that we pretty much intimidated every single team in this race, it is distinctly possible that Brad could wear yellow from start to finish in 2013. No one can match our team strength on any stage on any day,” mused Brailsford.

Eurosport cycling pundit David Harmon concurred with Brailsford.

“Until the rest of the peloton grows a backbone, or Contador stays out of doping troubles, cycling is Wiggins’ domain to plunder as he wishes. He rides on the front for the sprints, and otherwise sits third wheel the entire race. He is a throwback to the great Kings and Queens of England. He truly is the king of cycling, no offense to Mark Cavendish or Sir Chris Hoy,” declared Harmon.

Former Tour de France champion Greg LeMond weighed in with his thoughts.

“Wiggins could lead the race, but only if Team Sky buys Alberto Contador’s and Andy Schleck’s contracts to sit them out of the Tour de France for the rest of their careers, or have them ride the front in support of Wiggins like they forced Froome to do this year. It’s what Hinault did, and also wanted to do to me back in the 80s,” stated LeMond.

When asked about Wiggins’ statement, Chris Froome refused to comment directly.

“We’ll start with the Vuelta and the Olympics, and see what happens from there. Anything is possible for 2013,” said a muted Froome.

Stage 19 is Saturday, which should be the 53.5 km time trial coronation of Wiggins into his role as King of the Tour de France.

Worst of the Week

Numero Cinco

Gary Fisher takes Lance-loving to new heights

Yes, Lance is a great athlete. Yes he’s talented. Blah, blah, blah. It has been a long time since I’ve been so very disappointed with a key individual in cycling such as Gary Fisher. The “Godfather of Mountain Biking” was silent on Lance issues during the pending investigation, but the moment he’s declared “clean” by a skewed American “justice” system, Fisher takes to the Twitterverse to do everything short of kissing Armstrong on the mouth. Miss the Lance Love -In? Check out Fisher’s timeline during the Panama 70.3 race and the fawning over TriStrong’s exploits. Even Bill Strickland, rumoured future Armstrong book collaborator, was more even-handed with his Lance tweets. C’mon Gary, you once were an industry outsider. You even appeared on Neil Browne’s TourChats show making jokes about Lance. You can turn in your “rebel” cap and don your Wall Street “Fat Cat” Corporate suit now. You’re no longer fooling us. Best tweet on the Gary’s newest crush on Tri? Check out Lava Magazine‘s Jay Prasuhn’s take on it here.

Numero Cuatro

RTBF picks up Cyclismas story about Liquigas being “detained” in Oman for “lewdness”

What's next for these boys, caning at dawn?

This is also one of my “Best of the Week” items, particularly because of the huge exposure it garnered for our website venture, but it sadly represents just where journalism has gone, and it’s not to the happy place.  Sigh. No phone calls to teams for a reaction. No calls to the UCI to confirm the McQuaid quotes. No emails to the Omani ambassador. Not even a follow-up for verification by colleagues or those who are familiar with our work. Why, even a quick bit of research on the photo would reveal that it was taken at the team training camp and not in Oman. I would continue, but our dear friend and sometime-collaborator Saddles perhaps summed it up best. Cheers @saddleblaze, and thank you for your two quid on the subject. And a tip of the hat to Matthew Price on his Broom Wagon blog for SBS for covering it, too. It took RTBF four days to take down the story in spite of comments and tweets alerting them to the mistake. But we screen-grabbed it for posterity. (See the original in French, below, in the Best section.)

Numero Tres

Kenny being handed “junior” World Champion kit caps off an embarrassing string of faux pas for yours truly

Shows just how much the UCI cares about the riders, eh? I’m sure someone named Enrico Carpani will be blamed as per usual. I felt sorry for Cookson, hope he didn’t feel too ashamed with the whole not-allowing-the-public-to-see-Kenny-handed-the-jersey debacle. Oh right, maybe the UCI didn’t want to get booed or embarassed over “kitgate.”

Numero Dos

UCI asks for two-year ban of Alex Rasmussen

Allegedly drunk and high over a multi-million dollar fine to Alberto Contador, a certain organization decides to push their luck and ban a young rider with a penchant for disorganization. Never mind the fact that the UCI was complicit in this. Nope, no sir, no sir. The organization is blameless, but refuses to have a consistent yardstick. Shocking. I’m sure Jonathan Vaughters is shaking his fist privately, and scheming how to throw a shot at the UCI during the upcoming AIGCP meeting.

Numero Uno

Pro-cycling scribes run, swim, and bike to triathlon coverage due to Lance’s involvement

C’mon people. Lance is gone from our charts. He’s swimming, he’s running, he’s cycling. Give it a rest. Let the poor ladies of triathlon suffer the Lance-vortex effect on the poor coverage of their side of the sport. Bicycling and VeloNews, don’t you have sister publications to cover the tri-tripe?  This isn’t PRO CYCLING news. Maybe if you’d quit giving media exposure to this so-called “narcissistic sociopath” we could all have closure and move on. Thank you.

Best of the Week

Number Five

RTBF picks up our Liquigas story as real

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. ha. ha ha. ha. There, I think it’s out of my system. Wait, no, it’s not. Let’s look at it ONE MORE TIME!

hee hee

Number Four

Exergy expands their commitment to women’s cycling

The commitment shown by the Exergy company to women’s cycling is staggering and impressive. Idaho was the scene for a great women’s race up until 2003, and it’s marvelous to see them return a high-calibre women’s event to the state. The fact that Medalist Sports was picked to oversee the operation of the race was also a smart move, as they have proved time and time again that they have the kind of cycling experience to make this a first-class event.

Number Three

Another World Tour event for China?

Why is this on the Best list? Maybe now the riders, the team owners, and the federations will get together and collectively say that this sport is not being governed properly to the benefit of all. Only the few are benefitting from the moves by the top dogs in Aigle, along with their cronies. When will it stop? God might know, but he’s not saying. This latest move exposes a certain president and what drives him: Pure ego. Almost maniacal ego.

Number Two

Richard Moore on the career of Jan Ullrich

Moore has captured many fans’ feelings on the Jan Ullrich affair.  Ullrich apologized for his “mistakes” without admitting overtly to any doping. Can you blame him? If you compare the reaction to Armstrong with the vilification of Ullrich, it’s hardly fair at all. Ullrich played the part of athlete. Armstrong played the role of celebrity. While both did what they felt they needed to in order to maintain their place in the peloton, I think that Ullrich’s life after cycling is more authentic, real, and human than what we have seen from Lance “Never Tested Positive” Armstrong. Hats off to Moore, who writes with panache about the collective mindset towards the one-time Tour champion that is Ullrich.

Number One

A Brit takes the Tour of the Mediterranean, and he doesn’t ride for Team Sky

Kudos to the little British outfit known as Endura for seizing the moment at the Tour of Med, after being snubbed for years by the organizers. Not only did they perform, but their lead charge, John Teirnan Locke, won the overall. Now then, there are rumblings at home over this, but we’ll leave that for another day. No, we’ll stick to the fact that Brian Smith, David Harmon, and a host of others are absolutely beside themselves that Britons are performing superbly all over the world of cycling in the lead-up to a home summer Olympic Games. Sure, there’s Cav, but the depth of coverage and victories will ensure that grassroots cycling interest won’t dry up after the Cav era ends. Soon. Yep, you heard it here first, Cav will go through the wilderness in a fashion not unlike what Boonen went through. It’s inevitable.

Feeling a wee underdressed, Cav? (REUTERS/Charles Platiau)

When asked why only one of his superstars was present for the route introduction, Team Sky impresario Dave Brailsford didn’t mince words.

“You’ll have to ask Brad the reason for that. I’m not in the mood to play your petty f***ing rivalry games when they obviously aren’t going to be a problem for this phenomenal team to win all the major jerseys at the Tour next year,” fumed Brailsford.

Cavendish, whose attire was as inappropriate as his tweets about the presentation, broadcast a few cracks to his followers about epilepsy sufferers and the blind – a blatant reference to the platoon of press photographers and Cadel Evans’ wardrobe.

The Manx Missile then commenced alternating phone calls between his longtime girlfriend, Peta, and his newest boyfriend, Bernard Eisel, eschewing the rest of the “mundane” pomp and circumstance.

When approached for comment on the route for 2012 by several of the journalists in attendance, Cavendish elected instead to treat them to his patented withering glare, but then offered to read from a prepared statement filled with telling Freudian slips.

“The Green Jersey competition is by far the most important competition in the Tour de France. The days of the impertinence [Ed. note: importance] of the yellow jersey are over. No one really cares about these ridiculous climbers turning around and looking at each other every 20 seconds,” declared Cavendish.

Buoyed by the cluster of cameras and microphones, Cavendish continued, “I think the fact that I’m standing here talking to you, and someone else is not, should tell you who is going to win the internal battle.”

When later contacted to comment for this story, a “vacationing” Bradley Wiggins reluctantly pulled himself away from an all-you-can-eat Italian buffet in efforts to replenish an emaciated Vuelta physique. He offered up this counter to the first bow shots fired by the Manxman:

“Look, I’m more interested in what’s on Coronation Street than what flows from the mouth of that fat prat.  Maybe if he stopped mowing down every pastry stand in Europe he wouldn’t need a tow up the mountains at every Grand Tour,” retorted Wiggins. “After all, if he thinks he’s going to have a go at anything next year he’ll have ask permission from the GC Boy Mafia here at Sky.”

Wiggins concluded that GC Boy Mafia approval for a Tour de France Green Jersey attempt by Cavendish would happen when Jacques Anquetil won another Grand Tour.

GC Boy Mafia lieutenant Chris Froome also weighed in on the Cavendish situation, “I’m very concerned that having the Wiggo and the Fatman on the same team could result in an epic struggle for sustenance, which could inadvertently damage my opportunities in the long run, especially if I have to nurse the both of ’em over the climbs.”

Industry insider Richard Moore confirmed that the union of Cavendish and Wiggins under one banner could result in the same issue that plagued Morrissey and Johnny Marr during their first North American tour during their mercurial Smiths project.

“Having a double-dose of epic ‘sullenocity’ and monumental narcissism in the same sphere of influence could be an absolute windfall for rival teams. I expect a major implosion prior to Paris-Roubaix,” mused Moore.

Wiggo and the Fatman (Photo: PA)