Renowned for his wacky victory celebrations, Sagan is discovering just how hard it is to do something quite as memorable when crossing the line as runner-up. And on Sunday he went into a bit of a meltdown on the Ronde van Vlaanderen podium in Oudenaarde with his now infamous pinch of podium girl Maja Leye.

Sagan going for it. (Getty Images)

Just as the tall, blonde, statuesque, tanned and scantily clad Belgian model in her early 20s – whose LinkedIn profile describes her role, perhaps somewhat liberally, as an ‘Administration Production Assistant at Flanders Classics’ – was assisting two-time Ronde victor Fabian Cancellara with an administrative and productive kiss on his chiselled cheeks, Sagan took it upon himself to give her hind quarters a quick pinch (or, as Emma Bamford of The Independent newspaper so graciously put it, “goosed the blonde”).

The shot seen round the world (Getty Images)

Initial reaction saw Sagan’s actions as more playful than lamentable. The person behind the official Twitter feed of the race (clearly a man or perhaps a women with a sense of perspective) tweeted a link to the incriminating photo catching the 23-year-old flagrante delecto with the caption “Naughty Sagan” while @TourdeJose simply offered a “CHEEKY” comment alongside the picture.

But many did not see the funny side. Sagan’s actions were nothing short of sexual harassment and symptomatic of cycling’s overall misogynistic attitude towards women and its lamentable development of the women’s sport, they said.

Instead of broadcasting images of Marianne Vos – arguably the sport’s most complete talent – winning her first ever Flanders crown earlier in the day, here we were concentrating on the childish, yet fiendish, action of one cocksure tyro eager to steal the limelight from the classy veteran rider who put him in his place with a blistering attack on the Paterberg.

I have to admit, my initial reaction to the picture of a smiling Sagan pinching the podium girl’s bottom was one of mild amusement. Unknowing of the outrage it would cause, I posted – as my alter ego Blazin’ Saddles (@Saddleblaze) – a tweet that was perhaps almost as crass as Sagan’s actions in the first place.

Come on, chill out about the podium girl. It’s just foreplay for Sagan. He’ll do much more than pinching a bottom later…

— Blazin’ Saddles (@saddleblaze) March 31, 2013

I’ll put my hands up and say I was out of line – but the idea that Saddleblaze was actively encouraging (as one of his followers suggested) the “all out rape” of the girl in question was astoundingly stupid.

The throwaway comment about Sagan and foreplay was made very much in jest and in the light of the fabricated persona of Peter Sagan that we have all contributed to in some way of other on Twitter.

Last summer after Sagan’s total domination in sprints at the Tours of Oman and Switzerland, a spoof Sagan account was made on Twitter – thought to be by a group of established cycling journos keen to have a bit of fun in the lead-up to and during the Tour de France.

The Sagan parody account joked about the Slovakian’s supreme strength and made light of his virility and voracious appetite for bedding podium girls. It became a mini phenomenon with tens of thousands of followers until most of us realised that it was getting a bit tired and the whole thing petered out.

Some bored souls on Twitter missed these imaginary 140-character insights to one of the peloton’s hottest new stars and another parody account was set up – but to significantly less fanfare. (It really wasn’t funny in the slightest.)

But by now, the damage had been done. Sagan had a reputation for being a huge ladies man – something he actively encouraged in that bizarre scene in which he signed a woman’s breasts before a stage of the Tour (apparently she never asked for him to do it – but didn’t exactly complain either).

My point in bringing this all up is that pinching a podium girl’s bottom is exactly what we would expect from someone like Sagan, in that it’s entirely in sync with the manufactured persona behind a rider whose attacking style is winning over a whole new generation of cycling fans and whose oddball victory celebrations have brought both him – and the sport – hordes of new fans.

In short: Saddleblaze (and so many others) had anticipated this kind of behaviour from Sagan so much that it did not come as a surprise. But that doesn’t in any way make what he did right.

Yes, the boundaries of fiction and reality had blurred so much that a bum pinch was seen by many as par for the course for Sagan – especially after missing out once again on a victory in one of cycling’s monuments. But the whole thing takes on fresh layers of complexity when taking into account the motives behind the pinch and the real Sagan’s track record.

Indeed, it has emerged that Sagan – very much like his Twitter parody persona – has form in such casual displays of sexism.

If you look back at the pictures from the podium of E3 Harelbeke (where Sagan again finished behind Cancellara) and you’ll see the Slovakian making a ‘bum patting’ gesture towards one of the podium girls giving Spartacus a hug on the top rung of the podium. Rumour has it he tried something similar at Milan-San Remo when finishing second to Gerald Ciolek.

Sagan getting cheeky at E3 Harelbeke (image by Annick Vanderschelden)

Then there’s the old photo of Sagan, probably just 18, filling up his car at a petrol station while wearing a blue t-shirt emblazoned with the (vulgar and highly presumptuous) words: “My c*** + your p**** = good times”.

Sagan’s “blue” tee shirt

It’s worth being fair at this point – for this is not a Sagan witch hunt: Tom Boonen, who, behind the unfortunate Maja Leye, was seen as the big victim on Sunday after crashing out of the race, was once pictured with a big grin on his face while sporting a black t-shirt with the words: “Will f*** on first date”.

So, yes, boys will be boys, even – Shock! Horror! – in the world of cycling.

In a sport where his contemporaries are being busted for blood transfusions, performance-enhancing drugs, and race fixing, it seems a bit rich to crucify Sagan on Easter Sunday for a bit of cheek that he will no doubt regret even more than missing out on yet another classics victory.

After all, cycling does seem to condone the casual objectification of women by having podium girls in the first place – an antiquated tradition which arguably encourages the kind of lechery seen in Sagan’s (clearly un-isolated) moment of madness.

Can you blame Sagan? He’s pretty much spent most working days of his life since the age of 18 on podiums surrounded by dolled-up girls handing out kisses and bunches of flowers while offering their faces as a alternative receptacle for sparkling wine. On top of that, he has people on Twitter making him out to be the biggest Casanova since that chap with the equally big eyebrows signed on the dotted line to appear in the Twilight franchise.

As the ever-erudite Matt Rendell tweeted:

Sagan’s carefully thought-out piece of theatrical satire brilliantly focused attention on the absurdity of stlll having podium girls in 2013

— Matt Rendell (@mrendell) March 31, 2013

This is precisely why, when Cyclingnews reporter Jane Aubrey can rightfully flag up Sagan for harassment in the workplace, the highly-regarded Inner Ring is also correct in stressing that this is “a workplace where women are hired to wear short skirts whilst men spray champagne with obvious symbolism.”

Sagan himself took to Twitter to apologies for his actions, claiming it was not “my intention to disrespect women today on the podium” – carefully forgetting all the other moments he had pushed the limits of decency a bit too far. “Just a joke, sorry if someone was disturbed about it,” he added, underestimating the amount of people offended by his actions (it wasn’t just Jane Aubrey).

The upshot of the whole thing is that Sagan will no doubt learn from his colossal faux pas – just like he’ll learn that it’s not exactly wise to drag someone like Fabian Cancellara up the Oude Kwaremont in the business end of a race. As for the role of podium girls in cycling – the Sagan storm will definitely put it back on the agenda and encourage healthy debate.

Interestingly, in last year’s E3 Harelbeke, the organisers replaced the usual pretty podium girls with a 66-year-old granny after being criticized for using a naked girl on the front of their race promo poster the year before.

66-year old Paulette Van Neste (photo by Tim De Waele/TDWSport.com courtesy of procycling.no)

You’d think if Sagan had pinched the generous posterior of Paulette Van Neste instead of that of Maja Leye then he would have got more than an awkward brushing off on the Flanders podium.

Of course, there’s always the cases of George Hincapie and Gert Steegmans – both of whom met their future wives while celebrating wins on the podium. We should perhaps withhold our judgement until we hear the reaction of the podium girl herself – for it’s not up to us to decide is she felt violated, outraged, humiliated, and harassed.

AEG purchased eight mobile pee units to keep pro peloton out of trouble.

“The Pee Problem” reared its ugly head once again on Sunday during the first stage, when several individuals, identified only as “swarthy European types,” were caught relieving themselves on a California Highway Patrol truck stationed to protect the public against attack by “lycra-clad men on two-wheeled weapons of mass destruction.” There were also reports of massive complaints from the general public – two to be exact – about being “flashed” by the peloton as they relieved themselves on the go.

“We are doing our best to meld the European cycling tradition of pee breaks with ‘peeing on the go.’ Due to California’s restrictive nudity and human waste disposal laws, we have been forced to make a substantial contribution to several key politicians’ election campaign PACs to prevent the entire peloton’s incarceration,” declared the press release from AEG Worldwide.

AEG Worldwide has diverted money from the dope-testing funds to purchase eight mobile urinal units, which will allow the cyclists to dismount, pee, and head back out on the road. The only drawback to the plan is the queueing for the mobile units, which may add an additional 45 minutes to each stage. AEG has proposed the athletes pee in shifts – alphabetically by team with three teams peeing at the same time – in order to reduce the potential lag time on stage finishes.

The peloton offered a group reaction via AToC designated patron, Robbie McEwen, soon to be retiring from active WorldTour duty.

“We in the pro peloton love California. We love the one or two fans who make it out on the roadside to cheer us on, and most importantly, we love the high-speed internet, lavish hotels, nightly wine tastings, and humongous food portions.  We’re happy to comply with this urinal issue in order to ensure we continue to be spoilt rotten at this race year after year. Has anyone seen the AEG-branded Volkswagen convertible I was gifted?” were McEwen’s comments on the matter.

In spite of all the attempts to smooth over the situation, Department of Homeland Security has still placed several “swarthy Euros” on their watch list, as public urination is a sign of potential terrorist activity.

Representatives from the UCI were unavailable for comment, as the entire management team was in Azerbaijan in order to be present at an oil and gas deal signed by Itera’s Igor Makarov, and to attend the Tour of Azerbaijan for a few photo opportunities.

Stage two of the Amgen Tour of California continues Monday.

Peter Sagan, Daniel Oss and Elia Viviani bake in the sauna (Photo by Bettini, courtesy of cyclingnews.com)

However, Cyclismas has learned the real reason for the departure from Liquigas, and the simple explanation is due to Nibali’s exclusion from the ranks of the coveted Cycling Sauna Club.

According to anonymous sources that may or may not be American Liquigas team member Ted King, Nibali was excluded from the CSC – Liquigas branch by the current mini poobah, Peter Sagan.

“Look, you didn’t  hear this from me, but Nibbles is pissed off that he doesn’t get invited to the sauna parties by Oss, Viviani, and Sagan.  He thought he should be a member if not the leader. But the Grand Poobahs of the Cycling Sauna Club, Franco Pellizotti and Pippo Pozzato, said that Nibs was too tame and boring to be invited in, let alone be a key member,” according to a certain Sauna Club acolyte who wishes to keep his east coast afro anonymous.

According to other sources, Nibali was also miffed that Sagan received an invite to the Slovakian Miss Universe tryouts, and had the Liquigas team blessing to attend because of his status in the Cycling Sauna Club. Nibali apparently confronted Liquigas chief Robert Amadio about the fact that Sagan skipped Paris-Roubaix for Cycling Sauna Club duties. Amadio allegedly told Nibali that his hands were tied and he’d just have to learn his place.

When asked about the snub, Nibali refused to comment outside of stating that his Fizik adverts should have given him entrance to the club, and made some rather dramatic Sicilian gestures before hopping on his scooter.

Cyclismas caught up with Sagan, who was test driving his new Ferrari F12 Berlinetta in Monaco with his brother Juraj in anticipation of the Monaco Grand Prix at the end of the month. He was frank in his candid comments.

“Vincenzo is a nice man. But he is no fun. He has no Sauna vibe. It’s too sad. He didn’t learn from Franco at all. Vincenzo really just has no style and a tremendous amount of anger. It must be a Sicilian thing,” commented Sagan, “He attacks his women like he attacks in races – too early and without enough stamina to last to the end.”

Rumor has it Nibali’s agent is attempting to work a deal with Team Sky for Nibal to transfer to the British super team.

“Nibali would probably be a very good fit with the proper, uptight, and superior Brits. Lord knows he’s struggled to fit into a passionate Mediterranean line up. Maybe he needs the regimented and inflexible routine of Team Sky,” declared his lawyer, Alex Carrera.

As per UCI contract rules, there won’t be any declaration of team changes until after the Tour de France in July.

Peter Sagan, Daniel Oss and Elia Viviani in an example of "lewd" behavior according to the Omani Government (Photo by Bettini, courtesy of cyclingnews.com)

The government of Oman – known for its censorship of Internet sites that are deemed “pornographic” – also engages in the active monitoring of all cell phones, Web chat rooms, and social media platforms to prevent the exchange of anti-government information and “lewd behavior.” Noted member of the cycling team 1t4i, Simon Geschke, even took to Twitter to issue a veiled warning earlier in the week to those heading to Oman.

However, it didn’t prevent the detention of the Liquigas team, when star sprinter Peter Sagan allegedly sent another sauna photograph to Daniel Oss, in what seems to be a running team joke that started at training camp. Oss, in turn, allegedly sent them to fellow teammates. The photos in question were tagged “Full Moon,” “Trouser Snake,” and “Old Red Eye.”

“While this behavior may be acceptable in other regions, we expect that the cycling people respect our laws and customs while riding on our soil. We have paid extravagant dollars to the UCI in order to project a friendly tourist environment, and this pornographic behavior is a spit in the face,” commented Yusuf bin Alawi bin Abdullah, the Oman foreign affairs minister.

Robert Amadio, Liquigas team manager, commented to the press from Italy, “We are working through diplomatic channels as we speak. This is all a big misunderstanding. We gather that should the right people be spoken to, we will have the team ready for the first stage tomorrow without any additional trouble.”

UCI president Pat McQuaid was blunt on the subject.

“Look, these boys need to understand that they have to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner. This isn’t some sort of American university frat party. This isn’t American Pies. This is cycling. And if they want to race, they have to abide by the rules of all the oppressive regimes where we set up our races,” stated McQuaid.

Fellow members of the peloton were quick to defend the Liquigas team. However, rumors of a “set up” by Tyler Farrar to “tilt sprint victories in his favor” by having Sagan, Oss, and the Liquigas team detained were hinted by unnamed RadioShack-Nissan team members.

Stage one of the Tour of Oman starts from the Royal Palace on Tuesday, and should have team Liquigas at the start.