As we all know, Fabian Cancellara started the 111th edition of Paris-Roubaix as overwhelming favourite. That he won the race did not make it a predictable affair – for Spartacus had to do something he’d never done before in his career: win a sprint on the famous Roubaix velodrome.

Offredo follows the signs to the exit: FDJ’s main hope, Yoann Offredo’s race was over before the first five-star cobbled section when the Frenchman collided with a road sign on a traffic island. Riding at the back of the bunch which was just beginning to part, Offredo was looking behind him in a bid to locate his team car when, turning back around, he came face to face with the blue sign with next to no time to avoid a collision. He veered to the right, but clipped the offending object with his left knee before being sent hurtling over his handlebars to land chin-first on the tarmac. Game over for Off-road-o.

Moments later, a similar incident happened when Blanco’s Rick Flens mounted a pavement only to collide with a traffic cone. The cobbles may be the race’s weapon of choice but sometimes the damage is done elsewhere.

Size matters: Most of the guys who played an active role in proceedings out there were big units with a lot of staying power. So spare a thought for the pint-sized Clement Kortesky of Pro Conti outfit Bretagne Seche: not only does the guy not have a Wikipedia page, he also looked like one of the Paris-Roubaix Juniors who had started the wrong race.

Part of an initial break, Kortesky was well and truly dwarfed by fellow escapee Gert Steegmans who, rather ominously, was not even Omega Pharma’s largest rider. That accolade went to man mountain Stijn Vandenbergh, who looked like a complete monster until he was spread-eagled by a spectator on the Carrefour de l’Arbre (more on that later).

Flower bed becomes vegetable patch: Making teams like Euskaltel and Movistar ride Paris-Roubaix is a bit like asking Europcar to do a team time trial. You get the impression that their contractual obligations only require the riders to make it as far as, say, the Arenberg forest before allowing them to hobble off the cobbles and into the safety of the team car.

Spare a thought for one of the Basque boys in orange who was involved in a pile-up as the race passed through a town 60km from the finish. It looked like the Euskaltel rider landed heavily on the low stone wall of a flower bed beside the road – instantly making it a vegetable patch for discarded carrots.

Thomas going for a clean-sweep: You can safely bet that Team Sky won’t be returning to Tenerife for their classics preparations next year after their performance in Roubaix yet again underlined the importance of having a decent Internet connection ahead of key races.

After suffering falls on the Cipressa (Milan-San Remo) and the Kwaremont (Flanders), Geraint Thomas kept up his unfortunate knack of stacking at key moments in each monument this season by coming a-cropper on the Trouee d’Arenberg following a ditch tangle with Yauheni Hutarovich of Belarus. What odds of a Thomas spill on the Cauberg in next Sunday’s Amstel Gold?

Meanwhile, poor Edvald Boasson Hagen – the only marginal gains he’s experienced this season seem to be around his waistline.

(Image by Steephill.tv courtesy Reuters)

Keep your eye’s peeled for Stybar on YouTube: As long as the incriminating iPhone wasn’t run over by a race motorbike then someone has a great close-up video of Zdenek Stybar’s crash in the Carrefour de l’Arbre. More precisely, the plonker who leant out and knocked the Czech cyclo-cross star in the face with his phone, forcing him to veer across the road and take drastic evasive action.

Talk about gutter journalism – especially given what happened just seconds earlier to Stybar’s towering team-mate Vandenbergh. In fact, you’d think someone has a great snap of Vandenbergh grimacing as his rump hits the cobbles while his arms and legs are splayed like the world’s biggest spider. If you watch the Carrefour cobbled section again you’ll see Sep Vanmarcke also coming close to being floored by a lady spectator. You have to remember that the riders chose the gutter line in the first place. If you sleep close to a fire, you’ll probably get singed.

Bernaudeau’s a manager not a mechanic: It was an agonising sight watching last year’s runner-up Sebastien Turgot wait for an eternity while first his own team manager, Jean-Rene Bernaudeau, grappled unsuccessfully with his back wheel and then the rider himself was forced to take over after the Frenchman punctured 41km from the finish. The hold-up meant the alluringly ungainly Damien Gaudin became Europcar’s principal hope – and the young Frenchman didn’t disappoint.

Built with swimmers’ shoulders, Gaudin is a complete oddity on wheels. Hunched over his cyclo-cross handlebars and with a head swaying like a metronome, Gaudin was “pedalling like a bag of spanners” according to Eurosport’s David Harmon. Compare his jagged style to another big guy like Vandenbergh and it defies everything you read in the training manuals. You could balance a glass of water on Vandenbergh’s flat back even over the most treacherous of cobbled sections – with Gaudin, you wouldn’t have enough glasses even if you were hosting the UCI’s annual Christmas party. Gaudin is a cycling monstrosity – but a curiously captivating one.

Omega Pharma deserve a pat on the back – just not by fans during crucial moments during the race: With Tom Boonen KO’ed by his Ronde crash, the Belgian team had to change their tactics. Steegmans rode excellently in two leading groups before handing the reins over to Vandenbergh, Stybar, Nicki Terpstra, and Sylvain Chavanel.

While Cancellara was completely devoid of RadioShack team-mates as the race entered the business end, Omega still had an abundance of talent – and Stybar, riding his first ever Roubaix, would have been a shoo-in had he not lapsed on the Carrefour and rode too close to the fans. It was scant consolation that Terpstra took third place to secure Omega’s first podium place in a monument this season.

Fabs talket to team car (image courtesy Cosmo Catalano’s HTRWW)

Cancellara’s poker skills are exemplary: Before the race, Taylor Phinney said, “Cycling is a very unpredictable sport although Fabian tries to make it relatively predictable by riding off the front.” But on Sunday Spartacus proved he was no one-trick pony by winning a very different way – and doing so after many had written him off.

Having been left isolated and seemingly on the ropes, Spartacus dropped back to his team car with 35km remaining, prompting Eurosport’s Harmon to say his race was over. And yet he fought back, using all his experience, strength, and determination to do so. When alone with Vanmarcke he did try to ride off with 4km remaining, but was reeled in. So he had to do it the hard way and beat the Belgian in a track-style sprint.

The stats don’t lie, and Spartacus’ last nine finishes in San Remo/Flanders/Roubaix are as follows: 1st, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 2nd, 2nd, 3rd, 1st, 1st.

Sep Vanmarcke sheds a muddy tear after finishing second behind Fabian Cancellara. (Cor Vos image courtesy CyclingTips)

Van marked by the occasion: A great picture shows the 24-year-old Belgian with his head in his hands and a dusty tear rolling down one cheek. He may never get such an occasion to win Roubaix – and had anyone told him before the race he’d finish second to Cancellara he’d probably have accepted that. But he admitted that he would lose sleep for many nights replaying over in his head that final sprint.

Even before the race reached the velodrome, Cancellara’s experience was coming into play. On numerous occasions the Swiss flicked his elbow. Vanmarcke resisted but then eventually came through to take the pace-setting at a time when there was no chance they would be caught by the pursuers. It’s almost like watching a scene in James Bond where the baddies insist on giving Bond a lifeline by taking the time to explain their devilish deeds before pulling the trigger.

It takes a rider of Simon Gerrans-style canniness to resist Cancellara’s clout and race dirty. In the sprint, Vanmarcke showed one moment of indecision and suddenly conceded his stronger place high up on the banking and in the wheels of his rival, who admitted after the race that he “went over my limits like never before to cross the line first today.”

Pinch yourself as decency returns to the podium: There was little chance that this monument’s runner-up would have followed in the footsteps of Peter Sagan and tried to steal the limelight from Cancellara by harassing a podium girl. After riding over so many cobbles, the physical act of pinching even the most pert of bottoms would probably be nigh-on impossible.

Still, the Roubaix officials made sure by having their ceremonial hostess clad in jeans and a jacket – although they couldn’t resist in giving her a Barbie-style tiara. As Cancellara gingerly raised the heavy-looking cobbled trophy aloft on the podium, it looked as if the podium girl didn’t have to worry so much about having her derriere pinched as having her skull crushed by a falling stone.

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Hoy threads the needle in spectacular fashion to take gold on Easter Sunday (Photo: dailyrecord.co.uk)

“I’m at a loss. It’s unbelievable. Our preparation for this race was impeccable in every manner. We drilled the pace. We rode at a speed unseen in years. However, the mental game seems to elude us as as Quickstep’s preparation matches us pedal stroke for pedal stroke,” commented an exasperated David Brailsford.

“The idea of just sending Flecha up the road ‘to see what he could do’ and for Hayman to sit up for ‘reinforcements’ in the late stages of the race is just plain unacceptable. Our monstrous budget cannot withstand an absence of wins between Cav’s early season and the Tour,” continued Brailsford.

Team DS Servais Knaven was reflective and philosophical about it.

“What do you expect from a team that devotes 80% of its resources to two riders? I can’t turn water into wine like some people around this sport can,” stated Knaven.

After Sir Chris Hoy’s phenomenal performance earlier in the day, where he rode through the eye of the needle to secure Keirin gold, sources say Brailsford reached out to the knighted champion of the track. After considering his budgetary expenditures for a team psychologist, an army of doctors, a public relations firms, several marketing companies, and their operational staff, it seems Brailsford wants to reach out to familiar territory to turn around the listing oil tanker that is Team Sky.

When reached for comment early Monday morning in Australia, Sir Hoy was rather coy about the prospects of working with Team Sky.

“Look, while I appreciate the technical expenditures for the hordes of staff the team has assembled, some things just can’t be bought or taught. It has to be inherent in the athlete. Maybe if Team Sky spent more time recruiting the right types of lads, rather than trying to turn butter into cheesecake, the team might have more success. I’m not trying to slight David [Brailsford] because he’s a great chap. But at some point the suits need to be thrown off the ‘Juggernaut’ [team Sky bus nickname], the press needs to be ignored, the doctors told to shove off, and the boys urged go out and buy each other several hundred pints,” commented a chipper Hoy.

Team Sky classics veteran Juan Antonio Flecha, when approached with the news of Hoy’s potential work for the team, was encouraged by the development.

“Maybe Hoy can teach team management how to feel the sport from the heart. They’ve managed to suck the life out of everything they touch. You could tell by our efforts at Roubaix. When the soul is empty, the legs go through the motions,” stated Flecha.

Brailsford has called a press conference for Wednesday. Details have not be revealed by the team, but Sir Hoy speculation is running rampant.

Greg Henderson pauses to watch the finish on Willunga. (Photo courtesy of Ben via roadcycling.nz.co)

Best of the Week

Number Five

Kolobnev hearing in two weeks time

Let’s see if this one drags out like every other case recently, but we won’t discuss anything to do with Ullrich or Contador or Mosquera… or will we? No, let’s talk about this very interesting case that was curiously appealed by the UCI. Here’s hoping that Alexander receives a speedy answer in order to get back to racing. It’s good news that CAS has set the appeal so quickly, which might indicate that the UCI wants to sweep this under the carpet. It would seem that the organization really doesn’t have any ammunition to overturn the Russian Cycling Federation’s decision, if those on the inside of the dispute are to be believed. The funniest part about this is the fact that Holczer came out and said that there’s no place for Kolobnev on the team, while others behind the scenes have shared with me that Holczer really has no authority in those decisions. Look for Kolobnev to be welcomed back into the fold after he receives his CAS dismissal.

Number Four

Santos extends with the Tour Down Under

The Tour d’Adelaide has been secured for a few more years with Santos topping up their commitment to the race. That’s good news, and an opportunity for Turtur and company to make some drastically needed improvements for future editions, but you can read about that a little further along. *chuckle*

Number Three

Top Marks for Uber-Domestique Greg Henderson

He’s been hit by a motorcycle. He’s had numerous scrapes over his career. He suffered through his Team Sky years with no real sprinter to lead out, but managed to nab some outstanding victories, including stages at the Amgen Tour of California. He was a key player in Greipel’s recent victories in the land of Oz, and even after taking a tumble and injuring his little toe and taking on eight stitches, still delivered Greipel to a victory on the final stage. Greipel has described him off the record as tougher than Jens, and that no one has delivered the Gorilla to the 200m mark as well as Hendy during any sprint finish. He’s a man who marches to his own beat, even stopping during the Willunga stage to watch the final between Valverde and Gerrans on the big screen before limping in with his injuries 16 minutes later. He’s also loyal to his mates, no matter what team they’re on, including his former team (but we won’t talk about that anymore, no sir). Jens may get the press and the accolades, but Hendy is a much tougher man, in my opinion. Winners are Grinners.

Number Two

Emma Pooley talks turkey about the state of women’s cycling

Pooley isn’t one to mince words, and when she says things like, “but the people who tell me women’s cycling isn’t as interesting because it’s slower, well that’s total bullshit” demonstrates the frustration that has been building for two decades in the sport. Considering the fact that a female soigneur didn’t hit the peloton until the 1980s says volumes about equality in cycling, but that is no excuse for the state of affairs for the fairer side of the peloton. While the men’s side whines and moans about “a lack of corporate sponsorship” or “a difficult business climate,” the women’s peloton has been operating under those working conditions for two decades and is still operating. Incorporating the voice from that side of the sport could maybe even bring experience to cycling on how to navigate in a difficult economic environment. And you know what? The racing is as exciting and if not a little more unpredictable than its male counterpart. Glad to see Pooley speak out.

Number One

The Inner Ring’s appearance in ProCycling

Yes, yes, I’m a month and a bit behind, but I just read Issue 159 this week, so it gets inclusion. @Inrng is stone for stone the most consistent blogger/journalist/conspiracy hunter in cycling. In his article for ProCycling titled, “Twitter Litter,” he talks twitter basics to the cycling fans who may not realize the impact that the social platform has on the sport. It was a nice refresher to see him “sift the inane and banal to find the gems the sport tweets.” Overall, he is careful about what he shares and does a tremendous amount of researching. He’s not afraid to state the rumours that swirl around various subjects, but isn’t one to join the angry cycling twitter mob, unless it’s warranted. It was a real treat to open ProCycling and see his writing gracing the pages. Well deserved, mate, and keep up the good work. Sorry I topped you in the cyclingnews.com poll.

Worst of the Week

Numero Cinco

Where in the world is Franco Pellizotti?

Lost in the hype surrounding the return of one Alejandro Valverde is the fact that Pellizotti is free and clear to ride as of May 3, 2012. He had a stellar reputation in the peloton, and it’s suspect that he was suspended due to “biological passport irregularities.” With the challenges in the biological passport programme, it would seem in hindsight that Pelli may have been selected as the guinea pig to help “sell” the concept to other sports to stroke the collective egos at the UCI. Pellizotti didn’t appeal the decision. He took his punishment and didn’t appeal it to the Swiss Federal Court. The worst part? Liquigas emphatically  stated their belief that he was innocent. However, good luck when you’re one of the first cases picked in a pioneering programme, one that is being trumpeted by SportAccord to be used in other major sports. Think the system is rigged? Even the AIGCP head stated that if the decisions had been overturned, it would have been the death of the bio passport project. Nothing ever gave the indication that he was dirty. Pellizotti has said privately he’d like to come back. But will he? Will someone like Savio take a flyer in Pellizotti for this year’s Giro? I hope so.

Numero Cuatro

Tour Down Under’s Race Coverage

You are a UCI-sanctioned race. You are in a first world nation. You have deep pockets, and you recently signed a deal with the ASO for television rights. So what do you do? You shite the bed and piss off your fans by ignoring a TV station that has built up a strong following to broadcast the race, and you strike a deal with another channel that is still stuck in the 90s idea of highlights at 11 pm, followed by broadcasts of the final two stages only. The result? First day returns of only 50,000 viewers of the highlight package, when in the year prior SBS had 212,000 viewers of the first stage. Then you have such dreadful updates for the press corps covering the race to the point where ALL send me DMs complaining about how poor it is. Seriously. All. No joke. Top it off with making the press wear orange smocks with numbers, helmets, and other such awful ideas.  The outstanding social media army of the TDU spent most of their time apologizing. Thank goodness for SBS “alternative” coverage,  for cyclingnews.com’s coverage, plus other journos like Rupert Guinness and Blazin’ Saddles of Eurosport fame.

Numero Tres

Juergen Roelandts Broken Collarbone

Heal up young man. The good news? The lad was seen persistently chatting up the podium ladies at the closing party of the TDU. That’s dedication. Tough to see a fall like that after a sketchy maneuver by the Vacansoleil boys. Let’s hope Vacansoleil isn’t becoming the new “bleeding carrots” this year.

Numero Dos

Arenburg? Out? What?

Clean it, for fook’s sake. Quit talking about it. Paris-Roubaix without Arenburg is like a Tour de France without a doping controversy. Hmm, maybe I should look at announcing a bust after one of the small races rather than always at a Grand Tour. Hmm.

Numero Uno

Some guy named McQuaid grants Rupert Guinness an interview at Tour Down Under

You are the head of the international cycling organization. Your organization is non-profit and supposed to be transparent about the occurrences in the sport. You aren’t the CEO of a privately-held Fortune 500 company. You are seriously saying “no comment” on matters of importance to the sport. As I said to Rupert Guinness directly after the interview, the arrogance of this man and the arrogance of this organization is fooking staggering. Look, people don’t call you a “dick” because you’re Mother Theresa. It’s gobsmacking to hear the collective opinion held by those in both the men’s and women’s peloton about the leader of the sport and the organization he runs. Team owners say the same. These are the words of a dinosaur organization out of step with the sport entirely. Why force tour organizers, federations, and sponsors to hold clandestine meetings to try to take away their power? Oh right, the lemming thing. I forgot.

I have been cycled in groups and alone, and fancy both, depending on shape, form and time of year. Like most cycling fans I dream about ascending and descending the same mountains the pros do, riding the famous parcours as I see on the TV. Some mountains and races are very dear to me; imagine what the Ronde van Vlaandern would have been without the mighty Koppenberg, the Paris-Roubaix without the atrocious Arenberg forest? Or the Tour de France without Ventoux or Alpe d’Huez?

The cobbles of Paris-Roubaix

The famed Mt. Ventoux

But fear not; your prayers have been heard and there is a solution, as with most challenges. And you don’t have to move to Belgium either. The solution is, of course, a sportive. Now I know the readers of Cyclismas are well known to the wonders of cycling, but this could be a help in choosing your next challenge. Many companies specialise in offering all sorts of help connected to sportives, some even arranges one-day trips to famous mountains in France or Italy.

Depending on whether you feel cycling is a metaphor for life and choose a tough stage race or simply wish to challenge your mates on the cobbles of Belgium for a day, there is a race for you.

The term sportive can be a bit limiting, too. Just what does it take to be called a sportive?  Joao Correia’s (aka @joaoisme) trips to Chianti feature great cycling, an experience of a lifetime and much more than just cycling. A sportive? Probably not, but still tough to complete.

Stage sportives

There are several to choose from here, some tougher than others. The standard varies a bit too, from “all inclusive” to DIY.

Haute Route

The organiser labels it “Europe’s toughest sportive,” and I don’t blame them. It is a seven-day stage sportive arranged in August, bringing riders from Geneva to Nice. And you can imagine what cols are located between those cities. Fifteen cols in total, 17,000 meters of climbing, but this is a timed event too, with prizes on every stage. Single, duo, or team entries are all admitted, the price is between €595-€630 and includes food, transport of luggage (key factor), massages after every stage and accommodation options.

CCC – Cent Cols Challenge

Phil Deeker’s day job is making others experience pain. As the title exposes, they traverse 100 mountains in some nine to ten days, alternating between the Alps and the Pyrenees. Yes, the number is 100, but as you can imagine, not all are Tourmalet-sized. Climbing and astonishing 4300 meters on average each stage, while covering 200 km a day is something for the hardest of nails. But what do you expect from the man who conceived of this challenge and completed the Rapha 1910 Tribute Ride.

Single day races

Marathona dles Dolomites

Italy is home to some of the nicest experiences cycling can give – the Dolomites. Many climbs here are legendary, like the Stelvio and the Gavia. For some reason, I feel Italy is never given the correct status as compared to France, even though there are many climbs and sportives in Italy, too.

The Marathona takes you over seven truly spectacular mountain passes in the Dolomites. The very first edition was held in 1987 where 166 riders covered the course; these days, as many as 9,000 participants gather annually as the organisers have set that number as their limit. Famous pros and ex-pros participate too.

You can choose your own degree of difficulty as well, as you don’t have to finish all seven of the mountain passes.

There are also many Gran Fondo events in Italy, check them out as there are too many to mention here.

The Argus

For those of you travelling to South Africa with your bike, the Argus could be an interesting race to complete. What began as a way to draw attention to the need for bike paths in Cape Town, SA, the Cape Argus Pick and Play Cycle Tour has evolved into one of the biggest bike races in the world. The number of participants can be overwhelming or a nice experience, depending upon your view. The course is about 109 km so it isn’t terribly long, however, be aware of the weather. The race was stopped in 2002 due to high temperatures and by strong (gale force) winds in 2009. Cyclists from the pro peloton who have participated include Jan Ullrich, Greg LeMond, South African Robbie Hunter and Lance Armstrong.

La Marmotte

This is actually the oldest cyclosportif and is very popular, sometimes being referred to as the Queen Mother of all Cyclosportives. Held annually in France and covering some 174 km and approx 5,200 meters of climbing, this race takes you over all the giant mountains in the Alps: Glandon, Telegraph, Galibier and the notorious Alpe d’Huez. What more could you ask? You’ll even get a t-shirt to show off at the local club rides. There are several packages available, but it’s best to book in advance as they sell out quickly.

l’Etape du Tour

This epic ride is the closest that non-professional cyclists will get to actually participating in the Tour de France. Normally held during a Tour rest day, this legend of a sportive takes you through a complete Tour de France stage, normally a mountain stage. Organised by ASO (the parent company which produces the Tour de France), this is a great event, complete with a voiture balai or broom wagon if you like, so don’t show up if your shape is off season…

If you’re interested, check out @Cyclefilm’s videos of the event, they have loads of great DVDs for your winter turbo-training.

RvV and Paris-Roubaix 

Two of my favourites, as I love the classics and cobbles. They take place the day before the pro races, allowing you to do the sportive, relax, and show up the next day for a chance to see the peloton blast over the same cobbles you did the day before. Every cycling fan should experience the atmosphere in Belgium and northern France as these races take place.

At the Ronde van Vlaanderen (Tour of Flanders for Cyclotourists), you can choose between completing the 70km course and riding 140km; both courses bring you up the famous Koppenberg. And with the Paris-Roubaix, you will add further capital to your cycling abilities too, riding in the Arenberg forest, experiencing the the same pain the riders do.

Summary

I hope this post inspire you to check out the perfect sportive for you. Instead of dreaming, why don’t you take the step and commit yourself to it by filling out your entry today? It will do wonders for your training during the winter and you will have the experience of a lifetime, no matter if you view cycling as a metaphor for life or not.

Do you have any sportives you’ve heard of or participated in or know a sportive which hasn’t been mentioned here? Pleae do not hesitate to comment below on your experiences. We welcome your feedback, and hope to get you started with this very complete list of cyclosportives worldwide from Wikipedia.

You can follow Pedalingtheroad on twitter, @Pedalingtheroad, or on his blog – pedalingtheroad.blogspot.com