Tyler Hamilton’s tell-all book, The Secret Race, identifies Maire as the shadowy individual Phillipe the ” Motoman,”  who acted as an EPO mule for Armstrong and select members of his USPS team during their 1999 bid to win the Tour de France.

“Philou has been a great friend to Lance and the boys, but I truly haven’t seen him in 18 months. He hasn’t been around our team at all this year. I’m not sure why all of these past occurrences are relevant today. We are in a new era. A clean era. And I still maintain that Lance never had a positive test,” stated soon-to-be-ex team-management consultant Johan Bruyneel.

However, when photos surfaced on Twitter today showing Fränk Schleck and Jens Voigt posing in 2012 with the mysterious figure from Hamilton’s soon-to-be-#1 New York Times Best Seller, Bruyneel had only two words that he was willing to share with this reporter before he promptly hung up the phone.

“Motoman” poses between Jens Voigt and Frank Schleck in a photo discovered on “Motoman’s” facebook profile by Martijn Hendriks (@hendriksmj)

Fan-favorite Voigt took to Twitter to render his opinion of the Hamilton confessional, and made several simplistic comments asserting that he refused to read Hamilton’s book, ostensibly in the hopes that by not reading the book, none of it could harm him, nor be rendered as true.

Why not?! ?! Because i was racing when he took drugs and cheated on lied to all of us. He lied to you, to me to the whe world.

— Jens Voigt (@thejensie) September 13, 2012

When contacted for the details of the relationship between himself and the nefarious Motoman, Voigt put his fingers in his ears, sang “Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala” and walked away.

However, Fränk Schleck was more than happy to discuss Maire.

“I was forced to work with ‘Motoman’ by Johan Bruyneel. I refused and refused and refused to use what Motoman dropped off to me at the behest of Johan. I firmly believe Motoman was the one who spiked my bottles with that unpronounceable diuretic as payback for wasting Johan’s money. I want out of this team! Let me go back to Bjarne! Where’s Andy? Where’s Kim?” cried Schleck hysterically when called for comment.

Noted cycling pundits around the world were reeling from the shock of their cash cows continuing to disappear from the cycling landscape, like cows being sucked off the range by bloodthirsty aliens. A gobsmacked Ned Boulting managed to eke out a few words:

“My world has changed. Journalists are breaking the omertá. People are picking on me and ITV on Twitter. I just don’t know what to do any more. I want the Armstrong era back. At least that period was predictable and safe for us to profit from mass-produced cycling fiction on a large scale. Now? I actually have to work for a living. It’s a stunning turn of events,” stated Boulting.

The remainder of the professional peloton are on pins and needles to see who will be the next rider fingered in MotomanGate. Rumor is swirling that several ex-Discovery Channel and Astana riders are undertaking their retirements as of press time. Cyclismas will be following the developing story closely.

Bruyneel and Maertens is semi-happier times.

RadioShack-Nissan representatives were tight-lipped after Bruyneel was the target of reporters’ questions last Saturday and Sunday, when he was barraged with queries about the subpoena delivered to Bruyneel as he disembarked a plane from Europe. The details and contents of the subpoena are still unknown, as neither Team Press Officer Philip Maertens nor Bruyneel would issue a comment other than Bruyneel’s typical “Who the fuck are you?” question he fires at all reporters.

Bruyneel mysteriously disappeared from the race Sunday and has been absent from all team functions since. Speculation has run rampant in the pro peloton, and RadioShack-Nissan team members are rumored to be extremely unhappy with certain circumstances surrounding the newly-recognized general manager of the organization.

Many in the bicycle community have been approached and asked if they had seen Bruyneel at all during the California race, including Jim Felt from Felt Bicycles, who was rather surprised not to have spied Bruyneel during the week.

“Usually he’s larger than life, and it’s either him or Armstrong commanding a large media scrum here,” commented Felt.

Bruyneel has been present on Twitter, issuing a tweet to Andrew McQuaid telling him to give hell to his dad about the race radio issue. However, the tweeting has been less frequent than normal, and he’s not been active at all since May 14th.

However, SBS Cycling Central commentator Mike Tomalaris pointed out this was the second time in two years Bruyneel has disappeared in May.

“Is there something in the water? Is there something in the air? Bruyneel has gone missing in action during May two years in a row. Last year, he disappeared from the Giro in the middle of the night and wasn’t seen for two weeks until he resurfaced in Dubai for breakaway league funding meetings, allegedly. Now he’s disappeared again, in May, from California. Could he be a super spy and cycling is his cover story? It would explain his demeanor and the sudden disappearances,” commented Tomalaris.

Other pundits weren’t so gracious.

“Can he just stay away and not come back? It would be a favour to us all,” declared Ned Boulting.

It remains to be seen what the real circumstances are behind the disappearances, and also the contents of the mysterious subpoena. The Amgen Tour of California continues Wednesday in Sonora and finishes in Clovis.