Armstrong and O'Grady in happier times (photo courtesy Cycling Cancer Council Classic)

The chauffeur’s accusations included the assertion that O’Grady attempted to assault him by throwing a wine glass and verbally refusing to put on his seatbelt.  However, Cyclismas has learned that there is a greater conspiracy afoot.

The chauffeur in question is a former LIVESTRONG™ volunteer, who has a history of posting pro-Lance Armstrong comments on variety of websites, including cyclingnews.com, nyvelocity.com, and most recently on Outside Magazine‘s website in relation to the Bill Gifford piece about LIVESTRONG™‘s lack of donations by the organization to cancer research. Rumor has it that this chauffeur is actually the individual who was quoted by Setanta Sports during Bill Gifford’s interview on the Irish program about his article spotlighting the embattled organization.

According to unnamed sources, the chauffeur launched into a verbal assault on O’Grady, accusing him of “turning his well-defined back” on the LIVESTRONG™ brand by leaving the Leopard Trek organization after the merger with Team ShackStrong (trademark pending). The chauffeur accused O’Grady of  “giving in to f***ing cancer,” and hoped that O’Grady’s wife “would choose a life with LIVESTRONG™ by joining the stable of Armstrong’s concubines.”

When O’Grady was confronted with the true nature of the assault, he offered a brief interview on the altercation.

“I was pretty restrained towards the chauffeur. I could have snapped his nose in half after some of the things he said to me. I never expected that I’d be a target by leaving RadioSchleck, but I reckon Armstrong has quite the contingent of wackos in his follower base, nut jobs that really belong in mental institutions. My decision to join GreenEDGE was fully reinforced after that toss up,” commented O’Grady.

Long-time Armstrong observer John Wilcockson offered his thoughts on this new phenomenon that could affect the pro peloton in 2012.

“There’s going to be massive amounts of disallusioned fans as they come to grips with the fact that Armstrong’s actions haven’t reflected his words for a very long time. The implications of this mean that Armstrong followers, especially men, will be lashing out at those seen as turning their backs on Armstrong. O’Grady could be the first in a long line of potential victims of the Armstrong fan base,” reflected Wilcockson.

LIVESTRONG™ CEO Doug Ullman declined to be interviewed for this report. However, Lance Armstrong took to Twitter with a cryptic, “I applaud the actions of those that support my brand of awareness. We will reign in 2012!” He followed it up with pleas for donations to his latest LIVESTRONG™ campaign, “Save the Livestrong Jet.”

O’Grady has refused to press charges, and threw away his yellow LIVESTRONG™ bracelet. He resumes racing at the Tour Down Under on Monday.

How much of his autobiography did Roche actually write?

“The UCI has notified us that Roche is required to enroll in English grammar classes, in order to have his proficiency reach the required WorldTour levels. The UCI requires all riders to be fluent in at least one native language. Unfortunately, Irish isn’t one, and we’re working hard to get his English up to par,” commented general manager Vincent Lavenu.

UCI WorldTour rules state that each rider must have basic native language proficiency in order to receive their licence, and that a temporary licence can be issued for six months to allow for the completion of the testing.

Cyclismas has learned through leaked documentation that Roche has failed the UCI test three times, and that the UCI has allegedly covered up the failures. When reached for comment UCI spokesperson Enrico Carpani was definitive in his answer.

“There is no conspiracy. Nicolas has not completed his mandatory language test requirement. I cannot confirm or deny that he has taken the test in the past, but he is scheduled to take it in July. It unfortunately means he cannot be at the Tour de France this year,” stated Carpani.

This does call into question how much of his autobiography, Inside the Peloton, was written by the professional cyclist. His latest defense of the autobiography on Twitter in a conversation with Cyclismas contributor @fmk_RoI confirmed the need for classes to shore up his English-language proficiency.

New Peloton Magazine editor-at-large John Wilcockson was quick to defend Roche, “The lad is great on his bike, and he has started creating phenomenal new words for the cycling language, including the brilliant word ‘determinated’ which he used with class on Twitter yesterday.”

Roche refused to clarify any statements in English. However, score.ie did provide transcripts of some of his tweets, sadly highlighting the need for UCI grammar courses.

Lavenu confirmed that John Gadret would be the sole leader for AG2R at the Tour.