Verbiest or Vaughters? That’s the question on Jonny’s new glasses as Ripp and Jonny recount the exploits of Alberto Contador, Martin Vinnicombe and David Millar’s twitter sabbatical. The anchors welcome Rachel Neylan to the show, talking about her silver medal at the World Championships, her role models, and fashion. Saddleblaze brings a whole new dimension to the concept of team camps and Aussie freckles. Joan Hanscom gives us the update on USGP cyclocross happenings, and “Undercover Gunn” delves into the world of cycling hair. Sorry Tyler Farrar, you finished fourth in the hair competition, and missed the cut for segment inclusion. And what the heck is that thing in the background throughout the episode? You’ll have to ask Lotto-Belisol’s Bill Olivier…

Follow along with the crew on Twitter: @RippFinklemann, @theJonnyGunn, @CyclismasMercer, @saddleblaze. Follow show updates on Twitter @CCNN_TV.

Or take the show on the road with our iTunes downloads.

Pat McQuaid and Hein Verbruggen have been accused of protecting Lance Armstrong while he doped.
FRANCK FIFE/Getty Images

It would seem so.

Paul Kimmage will go down as the first to stand up against McQuaid and Verbruggen in a court setting, fighting fire with fire. Yes, former WADA president Dick Pound rattled his sabre in retaliation when the duo did the same to him, but he didn’t duke it out within the parameters of the legal system. Neither did Sylvia Schenk during her battle over the alleged “bribery” allegations back in 2005. No, Kimmage was the one who took up the challenge when a legion of supporters started emptying their wallets and effectively indicting the two individuals at the top of the food chain for their behaviour.

What has followed could be cycling’s equivalent of the Berlin Wall falling. Kimmage’s decision to take on the two Mandarins who’ve long presided over the “Cycling Bubble” have emboldened others to take their own legal steps – no matter how ludicrous they are perceived – to send a message to the UCI that their actions will not be forgotten or washed away.

Just as many in government and Wall Street are now being held accountable for their part in the real estate bubbles in various countries around the world, so should Verbruggen and McQuaid be held accountable. Both men artificially propped up cycling by first using Armstrong as the “derivative” for revenue generation, and after Contador’s refusal to play ball with the UCI on their turf, they have used Bradley Wiggins to the same effect.  Many pundits are noting the mass exodus away from the sport after Armstrong’s villification, as they turn their gaze back to more North-American-style sports. If some of the unfortunate press reports of Wiggins and his tax dodging are any indication, the talented cyclist could be another casualty of the British Cycling “derivative” scheme. I digress.

Kimmage has led the way for all in the sport to examine their legal options to be made “whole.” SKINS is the latest to step into the legal queue, announcing their intention to sue the UCI for damages to the tune of two million. The SKINS lawsuit, as @inrng noted Monday, can be construed many ways – from a publicity stunt, to a cash grab for a “failing” brand – as many have argued on Twitter. I disagree. SKINS has stated their love for the sport, their passion for the sport, and they are willing to put themselves on the line for the greater good of the sport, which could have a more damaging impact on their brand than a positive one. After all, the SKINS president sent an impassioned open letter to Pat McQuaid a month ago, which indicates their lawsuit isn’t out of blue or a shift in their overall philosophy.

No, what SKINS and Kimmage have done is trigger a new pattern of thinking, a new manner to respond to the years of repression at the hands of the UCI’s shite-stained shoes.  Why not use the legal system against the duo who have used it themselves to bully, intimidate, and excommunicate anyone who voiced dissension or opposition as to how they’ve lorded over cycling? McQuaid and Verbruggen freely used the UCI coffers for their own financial gain, why not cause them to dip into their pockets for a change to defend their actions in a court of law?

As David Millar stated in his interview via the Guardian Monday,

 “Pat has to show volition to change the UCI. I’ve said to him before that the first step is to show complete recognition of the past and assume responsibility for it. But, with the UCI, there still seems to be a sense of denial and an ‘us and them’ approach. They still claim that they did everything they could to stop doping. Well, they didn’t – that’s obvious to everyone.

Millar and many others recognise the UCI didn’t do what they were supposed to do, and when those in power refuse to do what is right based upon our current circumstances, the only way to force the situation is through civil lawsuits and requests for criminal investigations. So while some deride both SKINS and Kimmage for their actions, what else can we do when faced with a leadership that fails to take responsibility for their actions in the “Great Cycling Derivative Bubble” Scandal?

In fact, I firmly believe the trial trail blazed by both Paul Kimmage and Jaimie Fuller is merely the tip of the iceberg. We can expect national federations looking at civil suits. We can expect more sponsors filing civil suits. And perhaps most importantly of all, can we expect the professional peloton to sue the UCI for creating an unsafe working environment for said peloton by turning a blind eye at best or protecting Armstrong and his ilk at worst? If any group has the best case for a lawsuit against the UCI, it is the professional peloton for what they have endured since the 90s. How many riders died trying to keep pace with the peloton? How many have damaged health because of the UCI’s actions?

The pro peloton is the victim in all of this. The Armstrong evidence shows the gut-wrenching decisions many cyclists faced. Graeme Obree himself recounted an interaction with an Italian professional when he joined Le Groupement, as he recounted to Scotland on Sunday, where the rider he referenced scoffed at Obree’s lack of “professionalism” by not doping. Imagine the pressure during the 90s that new riders faced entering the professional ranks where “99 percent” of the peloton doped. With the evidence compiled against Armstrong (including a dodgy passport in 2009 and 2010), and the amount of high-profile riders tainted with doping even today, we still have a significant problem. There is still substantial risk for riders and their health in 2012.

People can make all sorts of excuses on behalf of the UCI and place the blame back on the riders, or the team owners, or the doctors, or the sponsors. The bottom line? The UCI allowed it all to happen. They took control of professional cycling. They created the WorldTour. They became directly involved with professional cycling in every aspect from anti-doping, to contracts, to team licensing. They are the ones to set the tone and the parameters around the operation of the sport. They are, therefore, ultimately responsible. They did the crimes, now it’s their turn to “do the time.”

It’s high time everyone held them accountable for their past transgressions by taking full advantage the legal system. It’s time to break up the “chum-ocracy.” It’s time for a new pair of shoes.

Bjarne Riis and Ivan Basso in less complicated times. One wonders what was in the tube, if Hamilton’s accusations are to be believed. (photo courtesy AP)

Riis denied the claim via cyclingnews.com yesterday by stating, “I do not know Fuentes. I have never met him,” refusing to confirm or deny if he exchanged emails, phone calls, or text messages with the dubious doctor.

However, one individual incensed by the allegations is none other than alleged doping doctor, Luigi Cecchini. When reached in Italy for his comments on the allegations by Hamilton, Cecchini was furious.

“I’m the one who deserves the credit for Hamilton’s success at CSC. I’m the one who worked with Riis in 1996. I’m the one who worked with David Millar. I created a winning Ivan Basso in 2006. I’ve aided Juan Antonio Flecha. And don’t forget Bartoli, Bettini, Dekker, Cunego, Bugno, Ullrich, Sciandri, Cipollini, Tafi, Petacchi, Cancellara, Blaudzun, Breschel, and a host of others. Sure, Fuentes may have tried to invade my turf and provided products and services, but he could never emulate the work I did. After all, who got caught and who didn’t?” stated Cecchini.

Cecchini is furious with the lack of credit from Hamilton for the cyclist’s success (photo courtesy Erik Luntang)

When asked if he still worked with Riis at the present time, or if he’s maintained a relationship with Millar, Cecchini was coy.

“I have retired. Plus, it’s a clean era, no? Breschel’s had such a terrible run, and Fabian has been the shadow of himself, so how can they possibly [emphasis Cecchini] be doping?” stated Cecchini.

When reminded that he had avoided answering the direction question about Millar and Riis, Cecchini was blunt.

“I answered the question the only way I will.”

Riis also refused to comment on Cecchini.

“I have never met Fuentes,” declared Riis.

The cycling world will no doubt be blazing a trail to bookstores in the next few weeks when Hamilton’s tell-all hits the shelves on September 5th, unless you manage to purchase a copy out the back of a bookstore in either New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, or London.

Stannard is concerned about the immigration of Belgians like Wiggins tainting the purity of Team GB cycling team selections. (Source: European Pressphoto Agency)

“Look, they’re great riders and all, but none of them were born in England. I mean, Wiggo is Belgian, Froome is Kenyan, Cav is from some Isle in the middle of the ocean, and that Millar guy is from way up north. What has happened to our cycling programme? We can’t grow our own talent so we have to bring it in from elsewhere? Isn’t this against the spirit of the Olympics?” commented an exasperated Stannard.

Stannard went on to state that the country’s obsession with winning and fame has put the entire nation at risk, especially considering the current political and economic climate.

“It’s complete and utter madness,” fumed Stannard, “How do you think (Jeremy) Hunt, Swifty (Ben Swift), and Burkey (Steven Burke) feel about being displaced by foreigners? It isn’t right I tell you. I don’t care what the odds are for a medal with the transplants. It should be done the right way, or not at all,” concluded the Chelmsford lad.

The selection of the British road team has been mired in controversy ever since Wiggins came out against the inclusion of  Millar for Team GB, creating a shitstorm of immense magnitude, and dividing the British cycling nation in half. Wiggins has made overtures to heal the chasm between the two, and as of late, Millar has “accepted” the overtures.

However, the comments by Stannard highlight the challenges facing David Brailford as he attempts to cobble a team together that features a potpourri of nationalities, competing agendas, and a history of disagreements.

“I really don’t give a shite where they were born. As long as they agree to my agenda, they can ride for me. All five riders are committed to winning, and Cavendish will be on the top step in London where he belongs. I’ve planned this for five years, and nothing will stand in my maniacal ways,” commented Brailsford, despite the fact that he had seven cigarettes simultaneously attached to his lips.

We attempted to reach British pundits for comments, but due to the nature of the news, they were all too busy fawning over Brailsford and unable to comment. However, Phil Liggett did offer his feelings on Team GB.

“I don’t think Armstrong is guilty. It’s an absolute witch hunt. I will be banging this public relations drum every single day on NBC. I don’t care what Joel Felicio says in my ear,” declared an allegedly senile Liggett.

Team GB goes into the Olympic road race as heavy favorites.

Larsson's prologue win was marred by the Wiggins controversy (photo courtesy of Eurosport France)

“What the hell is this woman’s problem? I mean I have enough issues with the stuff that floats around my head on a daily basis, I don’t need Mother Nature causing me more problems,” commented a typically morose Wiggins, “I thought for sure she would be on my side and hate the French as well.”

Wiggins’ declaration comes a day after he made derogatory statements on Twitter against the entire nation of France, particularly men who kiss other men, bum bags, and those who have the audacious habit of actually saying hello to other fellow human beings.

Mother Nature was typically tight-lipped in her assessment of Wiggins and his chances in Paris-Nice.

“Look, the lad has a bigger black cloud following him around than I could ever generate. I am not responsible for the rain that prevented Bradley from winning the prologue – missing it by one heartbreaking second to that adorable Swedish boy. I firmly blame the shadowy corporate forces hijacking weather patterns from me via chemical means. Those groups certainly aren’t fans of the Sky corporation, let alone Bradley. So quit blaming me,” declared Mother Nature.

Wiggins, when told about comments from the “Queen of the Atmosphere,” was unconvinced in her denial to thwart him from victories in 2012.

“She’s a liar. She’s out to get me. Everyone’s out to get me. I’m pretty sick and tired of all these unprovoked comments and attacks coming my way. I’m the best cyclist in the world and I should be treated accordingly. I mean, if Brailsford coddles me, why can’t the rest of the world do the same?” Wiggins sullenly queried.

“To that end, I’m declaring war on Mother Nature,” concluded a defiant Wiggins.

When asked what that means, he refused to answer or speculate. He did offer, however, one final quote, “I firmly believe Mother Nature is on Jonathan Vaughters’ payroll with hefty contributions from David Millar. That’s the only explanation for the sudden rain when I left the start gate.”

When reached for comment both Millar and Vaughters doubled over with laughter.

Stage 1 of Paris Nice runs tomorrow with Gustav Larsson in yellow, Thomas De Gendt in polka dots, and Tejay Van Garderen in white. Wiggins will be sporting his usual blue.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee, aka Cav and Wiggo attempt to fill the shoes of Sister Sledge in song (photo courtesy of Getty Images)

“We were inspired by the genius of Team GreenEDGE in recording their song, which has definitely transferred into dynamite team unity for those boys. We felt we needed some way to create the same unity here in the British Isles,” stated Brailsford via conference call today.

When asked how they decided on the Sister Sledge tune, Brailsford was reflective, “As Brad is a bit of a mod kid, and Cav likes to party, we could only come up with an adequate song from their respective genres of music, so I just told them it was going to be this 70s tune because it would be the most marketable. Brad would mope no matter what song we picked, anyhow.”

Noticeably absent from the lineup of back-up singers for the tune was former Team GB member David Millar. Wiggins flatly refused to comment on that development whatsoever and told us he’d rather speak about other items.

“Look, I have no opinion on the fact that David Millar was left out of the recording. None whatsoever. It’s not as if he’s hurting professionally. His book is better than anything I could even dream of writing. He’s got the movie star good looks and knows how to knot a tie properly. He’d never be caught dead showing his navel in a photo shoot, and frankly wouldn’t be caught dead in these ridiculous pressers that Brailsford makes us do. In fact, I’m incredibly jealous of the fucker because, unlike me, he resisted the money and stayed with Vaughters. And he always looks so goddamned smug about it every time I see him. And he rode better than I did in Copenhagen. So no, I have no opinon on him or the matter at all,” summarized Wiggins.

Brailsford and Cavendish were unavailable for comment as they were audibly heard hanging up from the conference call during Wiggins non-opinionated opinion rant.

Also noticeably absent from the pack of cyclists scheduled to record were the female professionals who will be lining up for Team GB at the Olympics.

“Should that really surprise you? C’mon it’s Brailsford after all,” commented Lizzie Armistead when she was reached for comment.

Noted music historian and former Island Records press king Neil Storey offered his opinion on the matter, “I think leaving Millar out of the song is a travesty. We both know that Cav and Wiggo can’t carry a tune to save their lives, let alone get along as teammates. Millar at least would have lent some sort of musicality to it. And Sister Sledge? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Brailsford stated that the recording will be ready in time for the Tour de France prologue, provided that Team Sky will resist implosion prior to Paris-Roubaix, noting that Cavendish’s and Wiggins’ schedules purposefully won’t coincide prior to the Tour.