While in Belgium, the motherland of cycling, it is arguable which discipline is more popular, cyclocross or road racing, in America the average person may know cycling solely because of the Lance Armstrong saga. As a child the wee American may have pedaled a bike around but it is rare, outside of little microcosms, to see adults playing a pick-up game of bike ride. It is also rare for a sports enthusiast to get seasons tickets and tail gate the local bike race. The average American knows the Tour de France, but that may be solely because of the recent drug scandals. I digress, this is not about drugs nor is it about Mister Armstrong. This is about the ugly duckling discipline of cycling named Cyclocross. I fancy this ugly duckling and I am about to slander the other normal and pretty ducklings.

The term cycling covers a cornucopia of disciplines, but cyclocross tends to have a niche cult following. It’s different, it’s edgier, it accepts everyone. The fact that cyclocross is a winter sport attests to it’s difference. When the professional road cyclists and mountain bikers are winding their seasons down, indulging in sweets or an alcoholic beverage or two, cyclocrossers are winding their legs up, trimming down, preparing to enter a winter of monk-hood. But it’s a delicate trimming down procedure, as it is so bloody cold and wet that if you are as emaciated as many professional cyclists, pneumonia is written on your forehead.

Road racers are known for their uncanny ability to stay off their feet. When learning road racer etiquette of neither smiling nor waving whilst on an immaculate shiny and matching carbon bicycle, the aspiring road racer also learns the legs-up rule: If you can’t nap, lie down and elevate your feet. If you can’t elevate, lie down as still as possible. If you can’t lie down, sit. If you can’t sit, kneel. If you can only stand, lean. But do not lean too much on one side or you may develop imbalances. So the fact that cyclocross has a portion of off-the-bike seems asinine to any roadie. The fact that cyclocrossers run as part of their training is mind blowing ridiculous. And the fact that cyclocross racers enjoy themselves and smile? Well clearly they’re just not taking pedaling serious enough.

Mountain bikers love their suspension and fat tires, meandering single track, facial hair and their “chill factor”. To any mountain biker, the fact you’re on a bike that resembles a road bike is embarrassing, far too racey. Curly bars, a rigid fork and a skinsuit is a sin. While cyclocross is off-road and holds some single track sections, it is not that pure “I’m on a trail in the wilderness where mountain lions roam and my facial hair will keep me warm in case Mother Nature decides to toy with my chill, not too lofty ambitions, bro.” Cyclocross is likely too intensely focused for the mountain biker who only does epic-big loops and never rides the same rock face twice.

Now track cyclists – I think they’re altogether a different breed. Riding around, mainly indoors, on a short circular track? With no brakes? On a wooden surface of mean taunting splinters? With steep banks I’d need an ice axe to climb up? I can’t fathom the joy of that. But it is clear why trackies don’t do cyclocross for one reason – too dirty. Plus, if you’re not riding in a defined circle the chance of getting lost is much higher.  Add in the gears, the brakes, and turning in different directions and life on the bike just became a whole lot more complicated.

The Triathlete: Snidely labeled as those who are the best at working out. Further snark chides triathletes as not being stellar at anything; they’re mediocre at the three disciplines and through over-training the sum of its parts equate to a solid triathlete. I’m not even going to hazard a guess as to how many hours a week a professional triathlete trains. When I speak of monkhood in cyclocross, I think triathletes must be delirious over-worked monks. Cyclocross is simply too cold for triathletes – no matter the thickness of your skinsuit or wetsuit, water will freeze and become ice. (Author’s note: I justify these comments because I know I would never ever be able to handle the workload of a triathlete. Massive respect if you are one. I sink when I swim.)

Cyclocross is 40 minutes of racing for women and 60 minutes for men. I believe the average cyclist, no matter what the discipline, is over-trained. Cyclists think more, more, more, more is better. Me? I love sitting on my arse and eating a good meal. And sleeping – I can’t get enough. So there is beauty in cramming wicked hard racing into 40 minutes. Sure there’s the preparing and cleaning up, plus the warm-up and cool-down; it typically turns into an all-day affair, with about 2-3 hours of ride time. To the average cyclist (or maybe even average non-cycling American) 40 to 60 minutes of racing seems easy, but it is not. It redefines ‘getting it all out’. There’s no noodling around for the first 100km, then going all out in the final 5km. There’s no hucking yourself off a rock face with a blind landing and sharp 90 degree corner punctuated by a looming tree. There is scenery and terrain change and fresh air on a defined track that holds much more variety than a wooden circle. It begs for both cycling and running training, but you can determine the amount of hours you wish to devote – cyclocross is for everyone, from the working mum to a Belgian professional.

You just wait, this ugly duckling is growing and blossoming into a gorgeous swan.

All photos courtesy of the author.

One of the 900 working windmills in the Netherlands (photo from Globeriders)

Winning a race is more than mashing a gargantuan gear as fast you can in the last 250m. The Sprint DVD session is perfect because it is many sprints in the hour-long session, in addition to the important “time-trial” effort surrounding the balls-to-the-wall effort. In a race it is many many sprints along the final 5-10km. It is a sprint in itself to get to the front, many more sprints in themselves to stay at the front, all to stay in contact with your leadout train (hopefully) which is a “time-trial” effort to stay in contact with, all to be delivered into that final meaningful sprint for the line.

3LC has various DVDs to target various areas of cycling, however it is important to remember that if you consider yourself a “time-trialist” or a “climber” you will still reap benefits from the sprint DVD. Climbers: it won’t turn you into an ape. The sprint session exists to make you quicker.

In both DVDs I have reviewed (Ladies Road Race and Sprint) there is an air of focus which motivates everyone – the other riders in the DVD and you, the one pedaling – to “get it all out.” Looking in from the outside it is rare to see a champion suffer. On the telly we see the courageous attacks, the winning salute, and the podium kisses. Okay, we see the agony of the crashes and flat tires – which is a gutter – but we don’t see how hard the training is to survive (let alone win) a race, or the mental banter ensuing in an athlete’s head.  To see Cav drenched in sweat, contorting his face and the turbo into a myriad of shapes while panting “How many more of these do we have to do?” made me realize our World Champion is human, he is real, he is ridiculously smart, and he is savvy about what makes him tick like that different clock he is.

It’s not all about Cav, though, inasmuch as he brings a lot to the DVD through his riding style and words of wisdom. The final 5-10km “sprint” can relate to all sides of cycling and this DVD is one that any cyclist will learn from and grow. It is certainly one that will become a staple in my cyclocross training.

Another staple in Amy’s CX training?

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I hope bad karma does not ensue from sharing a complaint first, but here goes:  not enough trash talking. The chicklets in the Three Legs Cycling Ladies Road Race DVD are far too nice – to one another, to the camera crew filming up their nose and to the men demanding them to sweat and breathe harder.

I took on this turbo DVD with sniffles, the black lung, and a Doctor’s order of a sub-1.5 hour workout with bits of intensity.  I know when I mount the turbo my heart rate immediately spikes and my body anticipates pain. With many of these indoor fitness videos, the bumping bass and twirling techno makes me work it out and do the Jane Fonda. So, with a doctor’s note prescribing something more mellow than step-ups, I donned my leotard and go-go boots with hesitation but promised myself I wouldn’t let a choreographed exercise video bring my competitive spirit to a rapid boil.

In America anything you buy – be it an exercise video, medicine or food – has precautionary and instructional information in the form of a short novel. These are to save face [and avoid legal repercussions – ed.] if anyone has any “issues” with the product. For example, McDonald’s was sued by a woman who burnt herself on a hot coffee because the coffee didn’t have a warning in it. Maybe instead of latte art, she was hoping for “CAUTION: I may be warmer than warm” written in the milk froth. And the instructions would read something along the lines of “test temperature of contents, then raise mug to mouth and tip slowly.” Even peanut butter jars read “Food allergy alert: may contain peanuts.” However, with our groceries being overtaken by processed foods I suppose I am relieved to read that my peanut butter may actually be made with peanuts, as opposed to some corn-based genetically-modified creature. But I digress. How many of us actually read the multi-chaptered information novels? Most likely you won’t be licking or ingesting this DVD in any manner. Fortunately there is no heavy machinery required, aside from your turbo. And if you’re on the turbo watching this on the telly, chances are you are inside, in which case skin cancer from sunlight is unlikely. Therefore, the only thing you need to worry about now is rickets and measuring your exertion. Peter Kennaugh’s (the 3LC Head Coach) precursor is, I think enough of an instruction manual:

All 3LC Training Sessions are simple to use and based on cadence and Rate of Perceived Exertion – therefore, the difficulty is in your hands.  If the session is too hard, knock it down a gear – too easy, get the gearing up!

Snark aside, my purpose of the turbo session was 1) to watch the DVD so I could get the @UCI_Overlord, @cycletard and @3LCTV to stop hassling me for a review, 2) to get on my bike after feeling too rubbish for too long to even get out of bed, and 3) to find some inkling of motivation and squeeze out bits of intensity. The session is one hour long; although much shorter than a road race, it is “to scale” with emphasis on the zones and tasks within a race:  making the break, riding in the break, covering, attacking, tempo, climbing, recovering in the descent, riding in the wheels, being on the front, and finally the lead out to the final 1000km and “getting it all out.” The screen setup holds the overall countdown of the session in the upper right. The bottom of the screen holds three boxes. The first is the current zone and goal of the task at hand.  The second box is the count down of the task, whether it’s one minute of “covering the move,” the thirty seconds of “getting in the break,” or the three minutes of tempo when you are “back in the bunch at a comfortable pace.”  The third box is the next zone you are aiming to hit, so you can prepare yourself for an increase or decrease in intensity. There is not any of the aforementioned Ace of Base music and it all seems a bit silent at first, but valuable information can be had if you actually listen to Rob Holden and Peter Kennaugh. You may learn simple facts, such as why the warm-up, the object of the session, and how to wrap your head around the intensity (which can seem mind-numbing when you’re stationary and watching the seconds tick away).  Rob and Pete become the bird on your shoulder constantly chirping “focus, drink, relax your shoulders and pedal smooth circles.”

The floor of the studio is decorated with the names, and the walls are adorned with giant photos of the legendary bike racers the United Kingdom has fostered. When an athlete reaches the top level of sport, in that athlete a champion is born through the culmination of miniscule details. Currently it seems the UK is the leader in realizing these details and making them work in their favor. I imagine the UK as a miniature shaken soda can; when you pop it open the amount of information, ideas, details, and focus would rupture, explode and cover a land far more vast than their island itself.

Because 3LC is all based on cadence or rate of perceived exertion, it is all up to you how hard you want to dig. I rode the entire session in my small chain ring and accomplished my goal of the session. Bump it up a couple gears, or even another chain ring and the session would feel very different. I think it is a common misconception for beginner cyclists to think the harder the gear the harder the workout. Not if you’re grinding away at 50rpm! Look at any professional road race and I think you will notice some rapidly spinning legs (albeit with very hard gearing). Try hitting 200 rpm – near impossible? A recent tweet from Lotto-Belisol pro Greg Henderson read “took out the World Sprint Champs today downhill in 39×21. @GeraintThomas86 hit 231rpm. What you got brother?”  Cadence is important, and like anything important, it takes time, focus and form to train it.

I started this review with a complaint (which I think can be remedied with putting Cav in a blond wig for the Ladies Road Race DVD) and I’ll end with one. Women can be athletes just as well as men can. If someone is an elite athlete, that woman or man is trying to be the best she or he can be. To do that we know we need to push ourselves and suffer. Women, just as well as men, demand excellence and are screaming inside to do better. I do not know how the other 3LC DVDs (sprinting, time trial, climbing and men’s road race) are played out, but it seems evident that Rob and Peter may be more comfortable coaching men, and perhaps not quite sure how to interact, coach and motivate women.  Sure, women are emotional, but we’ve all seen Cav cry.

Thank you 3LC for a DVD I will continue to train with and learn from. I look forward to the 3LC Cyclocross DVD.  Though running around the cement floor speckled with names and then remounting a stationary bike could be awkward…