What appears to be the third Tycho Magnetic Anomaly known to exist was seen during the Prologue of Paris-Nice on March 3rd. An unknown object was spotted on the front of the Louis Garneau golf balls-cum-helmets that was at first believed to be black duct tape, but further evidence indicates otherwise. Details have yet to be confirmed, but review by astrophysicists later suggested that the rare and powerful entity known as TMA may, indeed, have made its presence known on Earth.
Experts have yet to authenticate that the black rectangular object on the helmets was indeed of the TMA variety, but several telltale characteristics of the mysterious figure were evident. The object was rectangular, matte, and unreflective, but perhaps the most compelling evidence is that which was not seen, but observed. Monoliths were known to emerge during periods of technological or evolutionary advancement, and the performance of Europcar’s Damien Gaudin suggests that the monolith did appear during the opening round.
“We’ve evaluated the race footage, and it does, on the surface, seem that the presence of this monolith did open a stargate for Gaudin, similar to what Dave Bowman experienced,” said Al Phaparticle, speaking to us from CERN. “It’s really the only explanation we have for how he was able to win the opening time trial.”
Louis Garneau, who spoke to us on behalf of Louis Garneau, dismissed the idea that they were developing any new, as-yet-to-be-named helmet technology.
“We would actually have to be rocket scientists in order to be able to make a monolith,” said Garneau. “We are completely focused on making stylish, functional, and super-good-looking helmets. We don’t have time for binary fission.”
Phaparticle was suspicious of Garneau’s claims, pointing out that other members of Team Europcar were also seen with the monolith. “We know that the monolith can be replicated. And the presence of more than one of these suggests that someone has worked out how to do that with this enigmatic item,” he said. “We’ve asked Garneau for a helmet sample, but were offered poutine instead.”
Observers will be anxiously awaiting the next race against the clock in which Europcar will participate.