Joe Bukowski, 6, spent several minutes with the Norwegian national road champion and two-time Tour de France stage winner as part of the build-up to this week’s Tour Down Under in Adelaide.
“Getting facetime with Edvald was something I never expected,” the herbivorous marsupial said, speaking to Cyclismas during the two-hour period of each day he does not spend eating or sleeping.
“We only had a few minutes together, and in that time Edvald fondled me and complained about my smell. He then almost dropped me as he returned me to the crook of my preferred spotted eucalyptus, no doubt because of his relatively small number of opposable thumbs.
“But even in that short time I felt we made a connection.”
Bukowski said he hoped to keep in touch with Boasson Hagen in order to learn more about the sprinter’s unusual physiology.
“Unlike the regular single pouch, Edvald has three tiny pouches in the back of his jersey,” Bukowski said. “He uses these to store the snack bars and syrupy gels he depends on for nutrition. The pockets are also used, I assume, to carry his young in the first few weeks after birth.”
Bukowski said he was surprised to learn that Boasson Hagen, along with most male pro cyclists, has a brain that makes up almost two per cent of his body size, but only a single-headed penis.
Before ending the interview to take a 16-hour nap, Bukowski also apologised for an unprovoked attack on young Française des Jeux sprinter Arnaud Demare later in the week.
He admitted he had been intoxicated at the time of the assault as a result of his heavy diet of eucalyptus leaves.