Former White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has been retained by Team Radioshack-Nissan-Trek as their new Media Manager, charged with the responsibility to redirect the team’s social media focus.
Once the newsfeeds and tweets started coming in about the first team “bonding” camps, The Insider noticed something amiss inside Bruyneel’s new regime. A gag order? Jumbled and merged messages? Was it Nygaard playing games? No. It was a new media manager.
Evidence of something at work:
- “All of our negotiations have been going very well.”
- “The transition has been very smooth.”
- “The team feels very fortunate to have the services of Bruyneel.”
- “We (all) believe that Bruyneel is the missing piece to deliver a Tour victory.”
It all makes sense now – the controlled and restrained responses being in stark contrast to the normally happy-go-lucky tweets the Le0pard_Trek team was known for.
Gibbs responded to queries as to why he was brought onto the team, “It was quite evident that the President err, I mean Johan, saw a weakness in the team apart from two skinny climbers who can’t time trial their way out of a pony ride line.” He continued, “That the lax social media policy allowing for such tweets from Fabian Cancellara as ‘fixing dinner for team is good time’ and more tweets about snuggling with a ‘planket’? Johan and I were and still are unclear as to what a ‘planket’ is and why a professional athlete would want to snuggle with one.”
“I run a professional cycling team, not some youth camp for malnourished adolescents” barked a harried Bruyneel to The Insider’s questions. “For this reason Gibbs was brought on to give our team a unified voice. We needed a lockdown! I do not need my riders broadcasting to the world what a bunch of pansies they are. And more importantly, I can’t have them accidentally 4-Squaring their tweet location for the UCI to know of our whereabouts.”